Mid-CenturyModernMoms

A Writing Issue

Happy Birthday to Abe!!!  He is now 20 years old!!  And I consider it a major accomplishment that this ADHD, Asperger's, NVLD, emotionally disturbed at times kid is in college and doing well.

Well, except in his remedial writing class.

 Abe reports that currently he has an A and 2 B's in his other classes.  But in writing....

Writing has ALWAYS been a problem for him. 

Throughout the semester, I've been asking him how his classes are going, and whether he's been availing himself of the resources that he needs- especially for writing.  And supposedly, all was okay.  But then he told me otherwise.

And he won't let me help him.  And he wouldn't take himself to the writing center.

Last week, I had an old friend over for dinner.  I had forgotten that she was a special ed. teacher in a college- actually working with much more severely handicapped kids.  So after dinner, she sat down with Abe for a little bit of time and gave him some pointers on how to get his ideas out.  And then, the following night, he told another friend of ours about this and she gave him some encouragement to go utilize the writing center- or failing that, ask me to get him a private writing tutor.

So we'll see how it goes now.

I don't want him to have this as a failure to his confidence.  And once he can get through these mandatory writing classes, he won't have to deal with this again in his chosen area of computers.

Parental nightmares

When you send a child off to college, to live in a dorm away from home, you expect that there will be issues.  Your child has to learn to take care of him or herself without your supervision, maybe do chores that you would have done at home, organize his/her time, learn to live with roommates, deal with homesickness, loneliness and all the stuff that just goes along with being 18.  the usual ups and downs, the stuff you've seen me blog about as my girls explore college life.

 

You expect that your child will be safe at his/her school, that school security makes the campus a safe haven for students.  You expect that difficulties with roommates can be resovled, that the residential life staff can come to the aid of kids who are having difficulties adjusting to dorm life, that everyone will get along. 

 

I guess that's why recent news stories sent shivers up my spine.

 

A shooting spree at the University of Texas.    Fortunately the gunman didn't shoot anyone except himself..  Reminded me of what happened at Virginia Tech a couple of years ago, but with a better outcome.

 

A shooting at a Seton Hall frat party left a young woman dead and several other party goers injured.  the gunman had been denied entrance to the party and just randomly shot party guests in retaliation.

 

But the one that scared me the most....what happened at Rutgers.  It was national news.  A young man committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge.  Seems the young man's roommate and another student thought it would be "fun" to secretly videotape the young man's sexual encounters and broadcast the video on the Internet.  I suppose they thought it would be "amusing" because the victim happened to be gay.    the result -- one student dead, two others facing up to five years in jail for their "prank".

 

such a horrible invasion of privacy by the stranger you happen to be living with.

 

I cannot imagine being the parent of one of the victims.

 

 

And I cannot imagine being the parent of one of the perpetrators. 

 

As much as you hope you your children remain safe and happy outside of your presence, you  also have to be concerned that your children absorbed the morals you tried to teach them, that they are caring and compassionate and that they exercise good judgment.

 

It's a scary world out there.

 

 

cross posted at Songbird's Crazy World

unbelievable

Not only do you have to worry about the way your child drives....you also have to worry about all the other morons on the road.

Once again I am dealing with insurance adjusters, tow trucks, body shops, accident reports....

Jen was broadsided as she was pulling out of a parking lot onto the roadway. Jen says the other car came out of nowhere, that she looked both ways before pulling out of the lot and didn't see anyone coming. The guy who hit her says he was doing 30 MPH....but the damage to her car makes me doubt it. The accident happened just south of a very busy intersection, and my guess is that he wanted to make it through the intersection before the light changed.  And, oh yeah, the guy who hit her is NOT a teen driver...he's older than I am.  

I keep telling both girls "Drive as if everyone else on the road is a moron, because most of them are."

And now we have to figure out how Jen is going to get to work while her car is in the shop.

My insurance wasn't high enough, I had to have this happen now?

Calgon take me away.

Vaccines: Not just for little ones.

I'm getting Amigo's paperwork ready for school in the fall. I'm dealing with my own health issues. And while medical care is all fresh in my mind, I find my mind wandering to my own students, those I will teach in the fall.

Last year the children in my class were hit hard by H1N1. During a three to four week period, I saw five to ten students out each day. Each one missed at least four days; the sickest of the group missed two full weeks of school.

Amigo is 18. La Petite is 23, a recent college graduate. In the five years between them, immunizations changed. It's very important to keep up on the changes; teens need regular physicals, just like babies and toddlers do.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) is asking bloggers to remind parents to immunize their teens and preteens. Did you know that while most infants and children get the vaccines they need, less then half of pre-teens and teens receive the vaccines specifically recommended for their age group?

There are serious diseases that kids are at increased risk for as they approach the teen years such as meningitis, whooping cough, and human papillomavirus (also known as HPV, the virus that can lead to cervical cancer in women).

• Meningococcal infections are very serious and can result in long-term disability or even death
• Pertussis, also called whooping cough, is not just a childhood disease—many teens are diagnosed with it each year. Five years ago, one of my 6th grade students had it and generously shared the virus with me - in June.
• Certain strains of HPV, the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States, can cause cervical pre-cancer and cancer.

There are three vaccines recommended specifically for kids at ages 11 or 12 to protect them from these diseases:

• Meningococcal vaccine

, which protects against meningitis and its complications

Tdap vaccine, which is a booster against tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis

HPV vaccine, which protects girls and women against the types of HPV that most commonly cause cervical cancer

In addition, pre-teens (and all kids 6 months and older!) should get the flu vaccine every year. Even healthy kids can get the flu and it can be serious. Just ask last year's fourth graders!

You might be thinking, "Oh, that's fine for people with health insurance. What about those who can't afford vaccines?" Many of my students and their families fall into that category. Lost job or low income doesn't have to prevent necessary health care. Look into the Vaccines For Children (VFC) program for funding sources.

Still uncertain? Look here for more information on why teens and preteens need immunizations. Watch this video on meningitis.

I focus more and more on keeping my family healthy through holistic eating and natural methods. I will never give up their vaccines, though. Immunizations are too important to miss.

I am writing this post as part of a CDC blogger outreach program. I offered to participate because I have seen the impact of pertussis, influenza, and more. The original post is on Compost Happens. 

Driving Test

Abe had a driving test the other day.  No, not the one to get his license- he has had that for about a year and a half.

Something went wrong with the car while he was driving.

I was actually concerned that this might happen, and was following him for a short distance, in going from one place to another. (Actually Rosie was driving).  So when his car stopped in the middle of the entrance ramp onto the highway, we pulled in front of him and I ran back to him.  He was trying to get it going, but, no luck.

But he was calm and collected (and not screaming his head off).  So I gave him my cell phone (he is going to get his own after he graduates and we come back from vacation) and told him to pull his AAA card out and get the car towed to the dealership.

And he did.  And he'd already told the people there the background when I came to pick him up.

I was very proud of him and his behavior.  (But not so proud of my 9 year old car!)

my children are driving (me crazy)

So I successfully taught two daughters to drive.

Now I have two daughters who firmly believe "have car, will travel."

I'm sort of used to it with Jen.  shes had her license for two years now,  she got her car right after she passed the road test.  That first summer, she relished her new-found freedom, driving all over our community. She drove to work, she drove to the store, she drove to hang out with her friends.  Oh, my, did she hang out with her friends!  I spent many evenings waiting to hear the car pull up on the driveway, unable to sleep until I heard the car door slam.  We had many long discussions about what time was reasonable for a young lady to come home at night, especially on a weeknight when mom has to go to work in the morning.

Becca  got her license a few months ago, and got a car just a few weeks ago...and already she's starting to drive all over creation. She drives to school (she's a cool senior, you know), to work, and to hang out with friends.  Haven't had an issue yet about staying out late, but that's primarily because she has to be at school at 7:15 in the morning. I just can't wait to see what happens this summer!

I think my daughters appreciate why I worry.   Becca had a minor fender-bender one afternoon  a few weeks ago -- more scary than anything else.  Just some minor damage to the front fender, but she was shaken up enough that she called my mom to come down to the accident scene.   And then she got that flat tire on a Saturday night...and AAA left her out there for so long, her friend's dad finally came out and changed the tire himself...

And Jen had  an accident one night while driving home in the rain, she rear-ended an SUV, hard enough for her airbag to deploy.  She's fine, but the car...not so good.  I just "loved" getting that phone call, and having to pick her up after the car was towed.

But may I say "thank G-d for the airbag, there wasn't a scratch on her"?  Last month, her friend Joe was in an accident that put him in the hospital for almost a week....he's still dealing with the repercussions....

Can you see my hair turning grayer? 

Loosening the Strings

Last week was an exercise in Mom loosening the strings tieing down Abe.  He's 19 yo now, but he's my special needs baby and I worry that he doesn't have the skills to compete out in the big bad world.

Last week was school vacation week, but Mom had to work (of course).  But there were some things that Abe needed to do during that time.  So instead of me running myself ragged or burning vacation time, I let him (made him?) go to some appointments by himself.

The first was his yearly physical.  His doctor is at a big hospital and I didn't want him driving down there in hte traffic mess of Marathon Monday in Massachusetts.  So I printed out directions of how he should walk to the trolley line and then what transfers he needed to do to get to the hospital, and tell him when he needed to leave.  I did ask him if he wanted me to meet him there, but he said no.  You think that giving him explicit directions on how to go to someplace that he had never gotten to by himself before was too much?  Abe didn't think so.  If I hadn't given him the directions, he probably wouldn't have even set off on the journey. 

The only glitch in the process was that he didn't know the co-pay amount, and for some reason neither did the secretary checking him in; so they'll bill me.

Then there was the "Accepted Students Day" at MB Community College, where he is going to attend next year.  There was a program for all of the students that the school had accepted (and probably hadn't accepted back) to introduce them to the facilities, etc.  I was in the second day of an all day meeting, so I couldn't go with him (parents were invited).  This being the first time that he drove to the school, I once again got him directions and gave him the timing that he needed to get there on time.  But that was it.  And he had a good time there and now is more comfortable with the idea of attending any college. He came away with a rough knowledge of the building and a sense that this wasn't going to be too overwhelming for him.

And to top it off, I gave him a task to perform at the end of it.  He needed to swing by the old house and put away the trash cans.  Would he remember?  Yes, he did.  And that was even after he went on an errand of his own after the MBCC event (he had even asked if he could).  And then I called him up in the afternoon to get him to take Rosie to pick up her baseball tickets for Sunday's game.

I'm so proud.  I'm also feeling much better about him going to college.  He just needs a bit of extra preparation and then he's able to do it.

So the last meeting was one I did with him- for the disability services office at his new school.  But I did my best to let him talk and he even filled out the forms.  And after that, he is MUCH more confident about going to college.

Extra Responsibilities

This is Ora reporting for our dear Margalit, who once again has taken a turn for the worse and is in the hospital.  Yuk!!

So Ora has extra responsibilities.  Why?  Because I am Margalit's health care proxy.  And by the way, everyone is really worried about the Boy and the Girl.

What? You don't have a health care proxy?

You simply must take care of this at once- especially if you are single.  A spouse is assumed to be able to make medical decisions for you in cases of emergency, but what if you don't have a spouse (or worse, you do but you don't want him/her making your medical decisions!)

It's a simple form.  Margalit and I did ours through a lawyer, but you can easily download a copy for your state off of the web and get it signed and notarized.  Make sure that you tell the person you've picked what you've done, because they don't have to sign the form.

But in Margalit's case, the hospital (her standard one) was very concerned about the Boy since he was just recently released from a hospitalization to change his meds and we are all worried that he won't take the meds and won't go to his day program (he's started down that road already).

And, of course, the girl is very upset too.

And poor Ora is trying to manage all the stuff going on in her life, run to the hospital every day, check on the Boy and the Girl and juggle calls to and from the hospital. 

Rosie, though, always comes through in an emergency.  She received the first phone call from the hospital looking for me and gave them my cell number.  She offered to give up going to one of her drivers' ed classes to ease up on running around time.

The first night it seemed on the dire side for Margalit, but she is much better now.  The seizure didn't cause too many lasting effects- but she needed to be in the hospital anyway to deal with her congestive heart failure.  I think that she'll be there for a while.

Meanwhile, Ora is trying to juggle better.

Miscellany Update

There's been a lot going on in my house.

For one thing, I now own 2 houses!!!  I closed on the condo within the past 2 weeks and at the same time was encouraged by the realtor to significantly drop the price on the house (which I did).  So we had some showings on the house (and supposedly setting up a 2nd showing) and painting and cleaning has begun on the condo.

But Rosie is totally tired on keeping the house clean enough for the open houses and showing!!!

The next open house is just after we leave..... on vacation!!!

The kids and mom will be sharing a cell-sized room (with a balcony) on a cruise!!! 

 We are going to Mexico and we'll see Mayan ruins and then go swimming with the dolphins and also doing lots of suntanning and relaxing!!!  Abe wants to try out a casino.  I told him that we could go do it together.  Rosie is interested in the pool.  And we are all interested in getting away from the cold in the Northeast US. 

One problem, we have to fly through Washington, DC and we're praying that the flights are back to normal.

 

In other news, Abe didn't get into one of his (3) schools, but he did get into the local college.  Since that's where I thought that he would go anyway, that's a big relief.

One Thin Envelope

One thin envelope arrived for Abe the other day... from one of the colleges that he applied to. 

Oh, did Mom want to open up that envelope and find out what was inside of it.

But Abe was coming home from school the next evening...

But I needed to call him to remind him to bring a certain item home....  So I did.  And then I casually mentioned that there was an envelope here at home for him from BSC and did he want me to open it up.

(Think, think).  What type of envelope?  Thin.  Is that usually good news?  "No", I replied.  Then it can wait until I get home.

Fast forward a day and he's home and Mom is so anxious to find out what is inside of the envelope.  But no, Abe is more interested in everything else that I have waiting for him, a book, a magazine....

Finally he opens it up, but then he gets a puzzled expression on his face.  It's not what we thought it was (or feared it might be).  But as of 10 days prior, the school had still not received his transcripts.  I thought that they had gone out right before winter break, but...., or maybe it just hadn't been filed and checked off as complete.  When I called the school after the weekend, that turned out to be the case.  They had the transcript now and this was just a

FALSE ALARM.

So we go back to waiting to here from any and all of the three schools that Abe applied to.  And I bounce around mentally trying to decide whether it would be best for him to live at home or go away to school.  I don't have an answer to that one yet, and I don't have the options yet, either.