Mid-CenturyModernMoms

Visiting Day

Rosie has been away at camp for a month- with another month to go.  It's her last summer as a camper.  And she is determined to eke out every last iota of enjoyment from it.

But last week I got to see her and give her a hug.  It was visiting day at camp.  It's the end of first session and the kids that stay both sessions (as is mandatory for these oldest campers) get to see people from outside- and more importantly, they get to go out of camp themselves.

There is a tradition at this camp.  Take the kid to Wal-Mart and re-stock up on junk food and anything else that the kid needs.  Not too bad a bill this year.  And give hugs to all of your friends that you see at the store (as if you hadn't been living with these people!)  And then go to one of the two Friendly's for lunch (ditto on seeing the camp kids) and then go to the local homemade ice cream stand (moo).

So we did all that.  And walked around the area that her group is bunked in and got to see her own section of it.

Mom got a huge hug at the beginning of the visit.  But by the end, Rosie was off and running to her friends.

And three weeks to go.

Ball gowns, make-overs, stilletos, pedicures

Guess what time of year it is? Yup, it's PROM time. Or, as I call it, the time of year when parents of seniors go flat broke.That time when the phrase "I NEED" becomes the mantra for your senior.

Last year I lucked out. My son had no interest whatsoever in going to prom. Tuxedos and good manners aren't really a part of his life style, and his social skills in that kind of setting are completely lacking. This year, I'm not that lucky. Not only does my daughter have a date for the prom, she wants every single thing to be perfect, and that means that the whole world revolves around the prom this year.

First we had to get the dress. She went off with a friend and came back with a black dress that is elegant, not too low cut or short or tight. In fact, it's surprisingly sophisticated. I was proud of her choice. After all, there are an awful lot of inappropriate hooker-esque prom dresses in the shops.

After the dress was acquired, her attention turned to shoes. She wanted to define her color scheme with shoes and a matching handbag, so her date could find a tux in a matching color. But she didn't know what color she wanted. We had a lot of conversations going over the merits of this color over that. Then one day my online shopping site Rue La La was featuring a shoe boutique and there was a really nice pair of shoes in silver and gold. I showed them to my daughter, she loved them and I ordered them for her. When the shoes arrived they not only fit perfectly, but were comfortable despite the enormous heel due to footbed padding. She was so thrilled with them, she had to try them on with the dress, and then wore them around for a bit to get the sole scuffed.

In a complete stroke of luck she entered and won a contest at our local beauty school for a hair and makeup do-over just for the prom. She's going to have hear hair done up, something I couldn't do if I tried. She's also got an appointment for a mani-pedi and has already picked out the color of the polish.

Now we're working on the jewelry portion of the ensemble. She thinks pearls would be nice, but I think they would be too plain and have suggested something a bit flashier. But what? Fake diamonds? Or maybe she could borrow something from Harry Winston like the stars on the red carpet do.

Besides the outfits, we have to get her and the date to the prom, and that of course means renting a limo with friends. Friends that are notoriously flaky about making plans. Phone calls, texting, and Facebooking are all in use to get this detail down pat.

After the prom, which is at a downtown Boston hotel, they'll go back to the high school for an all-night party. In order to attend the party they have to use a Breathalyzer and promise to enter and stay there. Once they leave, they can't go back in. So at least the parents know the kids will be sober and not in some hotel room having a party of their own. Oy!

Other details include the prom photo that of course costs money, The before prom meal. The corsage and boutonniere. Hair accessories. It just doesn't end.

Total cost? I'd guesstimate about $500. I know, it's a once in a life time event. I just wish it were a cheaper once in a lifetime event. But I have to admit,I'm getting just as much of a thrill with all the preparations as she is. It is really fun seeing her so excited about the prom. I just hope she has a great time, one that she'll remember fondly for the rest of her life.

Shopping

It's time again for that most dreaded of all parental occurences- seasonal shopping with a teenager.

Rosie and I set out to find her a pair of sneakers for gym class.  I didn't want to spend a fortune but she turned her nose up at everything under $50.  And how long (ha) that I know these shoes will last, more than that I didn't want to spend.

And to make matters worse, we also went off on a tangent and did some clothes shopping at the same time.  That probably made the shoe shopping that much worse.  She needs shorts and summer dressy outfits.  But the length of both is enough to make most mothers blush- not to mention the fit!!  She seems to think that the tighter the better.  But when I made her try on a (dreaded) medium size in some of them, she actually agreed that (most of them) is was better fitting.

But after 4 stores, we still don't have the sneakers- more shopping to come.

Taking it to the limit

I took a big step this weekend.

I did something that I have never done before. Something that scared me half to death.

And I was a brave little puppy about it.

What did I do, you ask?

I handed my debit card to my daughter so she could go shopping at the mall with her friend.

Ayiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

The Roo-girl is looking for a dress for the homecomingdance. (The homecoming dance??? Ayiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!)

Anyway, I had no cash to give her and no time to go get some, so I closed my eyes real tight, reached into my wallet and handed her my card.

I only had to breathe into a paper bag for a couple of minutes.

She had to memorize my pin. For someone with swiss cheese for brains (everything seeps out the holes), this was a challenge.

"6-7-2-2 ... 6-7-2-2 ... 6-7-2-2 ... 6-7-2-2," she chanted as she danced around the room.*

"Text it to yourself," offered Z-man helpfully.

Ayiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

And so she was off, my card nestled in her wallet, my heart nestled in my throat.

Several hours, I texted her to see how things were going.

Evil Mother: Finding anything?

The Roo-girl: Yes, I found a dress. Looking for shoes.

Evil Mother: *clutching her chest* How much have you spent?

The Roo-girl: Like 15 so far lol

Evil Mother: On a dress????? Lolol

The Roo-girl: Yes :-)

Evil Mother: That's my girl!!!!

The Roo-girl: I knew you would be proud.

I feel so much better now.

*No, that's not my real pin. You think I'm stupid or something????

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Back to School

Today's post will be a collection of thoughts about the beginning of the school year.

It's so nice not to be the only one up in the morning.  Rosie comes over and gives Mom a hug before eating breakfast.

Oh, no.  Now I need to get serious in thinking about Abe's future!

But he's doing so great at his internship....  

Is he going to be ready to take on a full college workload- with ot without supports?  Will he avail himself of those supports?  Is he going to be able to live independently in a college dorm?

Shopping for a few new things for Rosie is so much fun (especially after Wendy went through her clothes and got her to see that she really only needed a few things!)

Mom (a chemist by training) gets to be a Chemistry tutor to Rosie and friends this year.  (Is that a good or a bad?  I'm afraid it might get ugly.)

Whining about homework (from Rosie).

Writing a half dozen small (ish) checks to the school for this book or that lab kit.

But a great thing, is that, during the school year, Rosie actually talks to me.  True, it's only about the academic side of things and not any of the personal stuff, but I'll take what I can get.

Pansy Girl

One of the classic signs of real poverty is when you run out of something, you're out until you get your check at the beginning of the month. In our case, we were out of everything because poverty is a constant, we had to replace everything in our fridge and freezer that got ruined when the power was out, and that happened to come at the same time as being out of toilet paper, garbage bags, paper towels, and all cleaning supplies.

This means that we couldn't clean out the fridge until my check came, which it did on Friday. Being the red letter day we hit the market and filled up two shopping carts with everything we needed. Not only did it cost WAY more than we had to spend, it also was questionable whether it would fit in the Toymoter. But with some deft packing and a lot of swearing, we got it all in both the trunk and the entire back seat.

Once we got home, my son unloaded the car and then declared that he was done, having been the shopper and hauler. It was his sister's turn to help clean the fridge and freezer and then put all the food away. Only one problem. She wasn't home. So I called her and told her to get her butt home asap, which she did, and then I gave her the rundown on what needed doing,

Perhaps I'vc mentioned before that my precious little snowflake is a tad bit squeamish, no? Well, she is one freaking pansy, and she lets you know with freaky freak-out dancing and screaming and crying and she's gonna vomit no no no she can't handle it drama. Bette Davis couldn't beat this kid for the freak out act. Really.

So we fill up three huge bags, double bagged for your protection, of fridge and freezer crapola, and it's time to clean the machine. Here is where I admit that I do a thorough cleaning only a couple of times a year, at Passover and the High Holidays. Because it's hard, and because it's the worst damn job in the kitchen, in my opinion. It takes FOREVER to take out every drawer and bin and wash them, and then there are always the boy's leftovers that have glued themselves to containers, ewwww.

I pulled out the junk and then had my daughter wash the shelves and bins. The complaining! The angst! The back breaking labor she was unused to, why it was just wrong, she says, wrong!

And then she pulled out the right vegetable bin and went absolutely bonkers. Stark raving mad. A moment for reality television.

"THERE IS A SNAKE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE REFRIGERATOR" she screamed. And the freak out dancing commenced.

I toddle over from the freezer bags I'm packing with stuff for the freezer, and look. She's in tears and bending over swearing she's going to vomit. I peer into the fridge and there is a small, but impressive dessicated carrot perched on the very bottom of the fridge. Indeed, it looks like a lizard of sorts, all brown and shriveled. More like a giant gnute.

I tell her it's a carrot, but no... I'm a moron if I don't see it's a snake. Wah wah wah, much tearing at the flesh and renting the clothing ensues.

Seeing that there is no way she's going near that fridge until I clean it, I sit in my wheelchair and roll over with a long tongs in my hands and remove the carrot.

Still freaking out, she insists that I put it in a special plastic bag of it's own and then in the double plastic garbage bags. There goes our carbon footprint for the month!

I get the sponge and scrubber and try to erase any sign of the errant carrot, but she's still threating to vomit in the hallway.

Being the bitch I am, I make her go back to work cleaning the rest of the fridge, but she refuses to clean out under the other vegetable drawer. No way, no how.

I'll let her brother do it tomorrow. After all, I did the shopping, put the food away, cleaned out the fridge of the stuff that needed to be tossed, and cleaned the freezer. He can wash under one drawer, right?

Might I just mention that carrot was gross?

Terrific time with teens

We're just back from 4 fabulous days staying in the Sydney CBD.  It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, and with Em in recovery from Prince Charming, now seemed the ideal time to invest some money in a holiday - our first in 4 years.

Living in a regional city is great, however I am conscious of exposing my teenagers to the reality of the wider world.  With Em only 18 months away from leaving home for uni I need to start skilling her up on city living.  You know, things like catching trains, buses, asking for information, and finding the value for money eateries in Chinatown!

For 3 days we walked the city streets visiting mega music stores, high fashion shops, the Apple Store (Davey's favourite), a cathedral where I happen to know the Dean, museums, art galleries and a trip across sparkling Sydney Harbour to Manly on a ferry.  We walked for at least 8 hours each day, yet not a complaint was heard from either Em or Davey.  Apparently I timed this CBD adventure perfectly!

I think my greatest thrill was the NSW Art Gallery. After several hours there I thought we'd finish off with the collection of 19th Century paintings.  Davey, who had been happy enough to see everything thus far, didn't say anything, but as we'd been on our feet for more than 6 hours at this point, clearly would have preferred to start making our way back to our apartment.  However, within 5 minutes of entering the collection, Davey was hooked.  The huge, detailed paintings drew him in with their richness, colour, movement, passion and detail.  There were depictions of gruesome battle scenes, Biblical scenes, domestic life, pastoral idylls - the whole gamut, and it was a joy to watch Davey soak it all up.  It was Em & I who sat patiently on a viewing couch, having finished our tour of the collection, while Davey spent another 45 minutes under its spell.  His school art lessons took on more significance when he happened across the original of a painting his class had been required to copy.  Seeing the original, with brush strokes evident, the scale and tonal qualities as the artist painted it, is so different to a print in a school text book!

I felt that if nothing else worthwhile was achieved on our trip, the seed of enjoying original art had been well planted in Davey, and I was satisfied.

For Em I think the highlight was driving in CBD traffic.  Part of me felt a little reluctant, but Em was keen, so as our time in the big smoke came to an end, it was Em who drove out of our security parking and into the crush of CBD traffic.  Em drove through heavy traffic out to the beachside suburbs where her Dad & I had lived when we were first married, along the iconic Bondi strip where her Dad lived before we were married, then back through the city and over the Harbour Bridge.  Her sense of achievement was well earned as I know many adults who are too afraid to tackle city driving.

When I reasoned it out though, it was the sensible thing to do.  In our state we have to clearly display bright yellow and black L plates, signifying that a learner driver is at the wheel, on both the front and back of the car.  This means that other drivers are (usually) more tolerant and less likely to blast the horn.  The whole idea of requiring learner drivers to have a minimum of 120 hours supervised driving is to expose them to as many different driving situations as possible, to prepare them for driving alone.  With more than 60 hours of driving experience Em was ready for another challenge, and really, city driving isn't all that scary provided you're not in a hurry and don't mind going out of your way if you get caught in the wrong lane.  That mindset takes the stress out of the equation, and as it turned out, Em was able to change lanes easily each time it was necessary. So Em is feeling very smug that she's done something even her cousins in their early 20's have yet to tackle.

To be honest, I'm feeling just a little bit self satisfied about the whole holiday experience.  Terrific time with teens.  Gotta revel in it when it happens!

OPK (Other People's Kids)

Everyone knows that your kids behave soooo much better for somebody else.  So when my friend B was complaining that her daughter R (age 12) wouldn't even try anything on when they went shopping, and just look at her, everything that she has on is too tight...  I volunteered to take R shopping with Rosie and me.  Rosie could give the teenage fashion sense, but I had veto power over the final decisions.  It is was up to me to guide her in the right direction to accentuate the positive in her body type.  This child was not the female body type that I'm used to clothing.  R is stocky; not leaf slender like Rosie.

We first stopped at Chez Dix-Neuf (Building 19) since they had a special on boots.  That was for me, but both of the girls went wild over the grown-up footie pajamas and I let them both get a pair.

Then it was off to the mom's savior store- JC Penney.  Into the dressing room with arms overflowing, out of the dressing room looking for other sizes, out, in, out, look around some more, in, out and then mom has so much stuff in her arms that a sales gal remarks that there are bags "over there" to hold stuff while shopping. (of course, she didn't get one for me, but I sent Rosie over to get 2- she came back with 3).

I was hoping to show some of the clothes that we picked out for R- but those particular things aren't on the JCP website.  But the skirt suit she got is this one-- but with a green jacket with a black ribbon belt and the skirt is black with white dots.

This is actually in the women's department, but it looked so cute on R.  The poor child did not have the faintest idea of what size she is.  And her sizes were all over the place depending on the outfit.  The above skirt set is a 10, 2 pairs of Juniors dress pants are 11's, for tank top/sweater size is a large or extra-large, but a gorgeous knit dress was a medium.  Maybe it's a women's medium, no one can remember where we picked it up.

But bags full of what we were taking we ran upstairs to the undergarments area.  Running, because the store was closing soon.  Poor kid was trying on bra after bra while we were trying to get the right fit.  We finally ended up with 38A, but I really think that she is a 40 NA.  In other words, she's wide around the chest and she really doesn't need a bra to hold anything up, but she does need something for modesty.  But anything is better than the tight 34's that she is currently wearing.

Then rush down to the shoe department because R really only has her Ugg boots and a pair of sneakers. 

We found 2 pairs of black shoes that we liked, and neither R not I could decide between them, so I bought both.  The other pair has a wedge heel and are a little dressier.  The shoes were the only thing that weren't such a bargain- everything else was marked down a lot.  I figured that her mom would probably take one pair back, but turns out that I was wrong.

Well, the store is starting to turn out the lights on us so we'd better pay for everything.  I'm a little nervous that B (the mom) is going to freak out when she sees the bottom line ($350) but everything is wonderful when I get R home and she shows off the clothes.

Rosie managed to get herself a dress shirt and slacks at JCP also.  R still needs nice blouses so we may head out again during the week.  And horrors- R is having a Bat Mitzvah in under 5 months and we'll need to do this again, and again....  But at least we know what sizes to start with now.  When we started on dress slacks, between Rosie and R, I had sizes from 3 to 13 in my arms.  And then Rosie ended up in a 1 (instead of her normal 3) and R in a 9 in one brand and a 11 in another!

But R listened to me.  I think that she learned a little about how to look nicer.  Rosie was very helpful, too.  R was happy that she got a lot (!!!!) of new clothes that she really liked.  Rosie was happy to help a friend and get some stuff for own self too, and R's mom was escastic.  Me- my feet hurt but it was fun to spend other people's money- and it was a mitzva and a joy to help out my friend.

Guess. Just guess.

It's been snowing steadily for more than 48 hours. We have a lot of snow. Like 2 feet of the white stuff. More snow than I've seen in a while.

So yesterday afternoon my son, the one without the coat and the boots, decides he's going sledding at the golf course. Without boots and a coat. I beg him to put on a jacket. But nooooo. He's going to wear his freaking trench coat because he apparently lost his jacket, having never even worn it. It's in the house someplace, but lord only knows where. I've looked, he's looked. It's lost.

So off he goes, and a couple of hours later he comes home, soaked through to the skin. He changes every bit of clothing, down to his boxers, and comes downstairs dressed like a gigantic elf. Totally adorable.

He lays down on the sofa and he's watching TV and then he turns to me and says, "I need a pair of boots." 

NO SHIT SHERLOCK.

This is the kid I begged and pleaded with just a few days ago to buy a pair of boots. Tims. Nice Tims. On sale at Marshalls. But NOOOOOO. He doesn't LIKE boots. They aren't comfortable. Moron.

So, in two feet of snow, he determines that maybe boots might be a decent idea. OMG, I wanted to punch him.

We'll look for boots when we can get out of the driveway. Which should, according to my determination, be sometime in mid-April.

The problems with gifts

  The upcoming holiday seasons bring a big problem to my house (or rather to Mom).

What do I buy for everyone???!!!!

J (Daddy) doesn't buy any presents except for Rosie.  I buy the rest of them, even for his side of the family!  Abe would be perfectly happy with book store gift cards to use on Dungeons & Dragons books, or games for his GameCube.  But J insists, and I agree, that we should get him things that will be more interactive, rather than isolating.  So it's incredibly hard to find anything for him.  And then there is J, who wants the big boy toys, but just goes out and spends (a lot of) money on them anytime. (But would scream if I did that!)

Rosie would be happy with lots of jewelry and clothes (but then so would I).  I would be happy if any of the above men actually went out and thought about an appropriate gift for me.  My darling girl will always make or get me something.

My gift giving balancing act calls for one moderately big gift per person and then several small (sometimes very small) gifts for the kids.  And there certainly have to be the same number of gifts for both kids or screams erupt.

Rosie is easy to get things for.  But the boys???  Impossible.  I don't have any good ideas.  Anyone want to help me out?

As a side note, I just found a wonderful new site (by the brother of my SIL) where you can get shopping totes and recycled goods.  I'm getting a bunch of the shopping totes as secretary gifts!!