Mid-CenturyModernMoms

Holiday Stress - update

So despite the pre-holiday meltdown and drama my sisters created, Jen and Becca and I had a great Thanksgiving lunch with Drew, and a lovely Thanksgiving dinner with my parents, family and friends.    I don't think it's a bad thing for two college girls to split their holiday between two sets of relatives, and I think my daughters enjoyed being with Drew's family no matter what they told their aunts. There was no drama at either  home Thursday, though my sisters...let's just say the weekend did not resemble Thursday at all....

 

Becca spent most of the weekend working!  The job she had at the mall last year -- well, she can work there anytime she wants, and she wound up taking shifts Wednesday, Friday (Black Friday shopping!), Saturday and Sunday.  Nice paycheck for that, I'm sure.    Considering that she doens't work while at school, the money will come in handy.  Of course, she made time for her  social life -- or rather, her boyfriend...

 

Jen, on the other hand, spent her time taking care of chores - like servicing her car, going to the dentist, getting her hair done -- as well as catching up with her friends.  She doesn't have a retail job around here, she's got a job at college, as a teaching assistant in an elementary school. 

 

I think Jen is starting to really understand why I ask her to call me after she drives back up to school, that there's a reason I ask her to check in when she gets back to school.  All weekend long I told her "It's not your driving that worries me, it's the morons on the road who scare me."  Sunday night, as she was driving back to school, she narrowly avoided an accident.  The car directly in front of her hit the car in front of him -- but thanks to her ABS brakes and a quick reaction time, Jen avoided hitting the other two cars.  She had to pull over to the side of the road to make sure her car was all right (and, I suspect, to regain her composure), but she drove away unscathed.  Must have been scary...

 

They just went back to school, but I am already missing my girls.  Tonight is the first night of Chanukah, and for the first time in their lives, neither of my daughters will be home for the holiday.  I sent them off to school with electric menorahs and lots of chocolate coins and dreidels, of course, but ...sigh....

 

 

 

 

cross posted at Songbird's Crazy World

A happy Thanksgiving

Almost always we go to  my brother's house for Thanksgiving.  He's my only sibling.  His wife is one of 4 kids, and all of her brothers and their families come up from the New York area.  And my dad, and her parents, and her parent's dog, and occasionally one of the brother's dogs too.

This has been going on for years.  And we've all gotten very comfortable with each other. 

The ages of the various kids are 20 (Abe) and 16 (Rosie).  Then my niece and nephew at 14 and 10.  Their first cousins at 12 and 10 and little Samantha at almost 4.

Now Sami is a friendly little girl, but we are people that she only sees once a year.  But when we arrived, I was saying hello to everyone and I put out my arms and asked her for a hug.  To everyone's amazement, she came right over!!

Later, at dinner time, she was out of sorts and didn't want to eat.  I had finished a plate-ful already, so I asked her if she wanted to snuggle with me.  So we did!!

Two complete families.  Grandparents with all of their children and grandchildren around.  Food, warmth and snuggling with a cute little red-head... this is what Thanksgiving is all about.

'Tis better to give than to eat yourself into a stupor

Thanksgiving means many things.

Turkey! Stuffing! My mother's apple and pomegranate salad! Pumpkin pie!

But for my family, Thanksgiving means more than a big meal of delicious food.

For the past 12 years, we have all piled into the car and headed off to a local senior center, where we load the car with turkey dinners and all the trimmings.

We would then drive -- all of us, or as many as could fit -- around town, delivering these meals to homebound seniors.

We began this holiday tradition years ago -- after a terrible time in our lives -- when my kids were having a pity party about how cruelly life had treated them. Yes, we had had to sell our house and move to "lesser" digs. Yes, we had to count our pennies. But also yes, we had a roof over our heads and food on our table and the love of family to keep us warm.

At that time, I sought a project that would remind them how precious life is and how lucky they still were ... and are. A tradition was born.

Which brings us to this year, when I was regrettably late in answering the call at the senior center. So many people have jumped on the volunteer bandwagon that their roster of drivers was full. There was no room for us.

So I consulted the internet to find another appropriate give-and-you-shall-receive project to continue to remind my children that, whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, we have much to be grateful for.

And boy, did I find one.

Every year, this one organization collects food, clothing, toiletries, whatever they can get their hands on. They gather in a rather unsavory part of town, where they put together meals; ziplock bags of toothbrushes, soap, shampoo, toothpaste; and bags of shirts, jackets, pants, beanies, whatever else comes their way.

They then load it all into the cars of willing volunteers who drive around the area and offer all of the above to people living on the streets.

This was a memorable experience, let me tell you.

We started out intending to volunteer to pack meals in the assembly line and ended up in the line to receive a load of Thanksgiving meals in our trunk.

Yes, Wonderhubby, the Roo-girl, Z-man, Drummer and I spent several hours driving around in parts of town where I never ever go on purpose, looking for people on the street who might be hungry and in need.

It wasn't as easy as you might think, since there are armies of people setting up tables in parks and on city streets to deliver meals to the homeless. Many of the people we saw were already carrying styrofoam boxes filled with holiday food.

Also, as we drove around, we had to carefully assess who was truly homeless, as opposed to those who just might be truly weird.

"Oh," said Drummer, putting it all in perspective in his inimitable way, "so ... we're profiling."

We laughed out loud after he said that, but actually, we truly were profiling, in a way -- assessing the people we saw based on attire, hair, posture and whether they were pushing a grocery cart filled with "treasure."

The first time we found someone we knew would need what we had to offer, Wonderhubby pulled the car over, and we all looked at each other. No one moved.

"Pffffft," I said, opening my door and getting out of the car.

"Pffffft," said Roo, literally climbing over her brothers to get out of the back seat and out of the car.

The two of us together approached the man with food and toiletries in hand.

"Are you hungry," Roo asked the man. "Would you like some food for Thanksgiving?"

"Yes," the man said, as we reached forward and handed him our wares. "Thank you so much."

"You have a very good Thanksgiving, my friend," said my daughter to the bedraggled man.

"Thank God there are people like you in the world," said the man to my daughter.

Roo and I walked back to the car together and smiled at each other.

We delivered all of our meals. Roo and I did the heavy lifting, but the hours we spent in the car as a family driving around on our quest were as meaningful as the act of charity itself.

Later, we had our own Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings. But our own full bellies were not nearly as important as the bellies we had filled that morning.

Crossposted at From the Planet of Janet

Holiday stress

 

 

Can I just go spend the next four days on some tropical island?

 

I am just so tired of being in the middle!

 

My ex husband/current boyfriend wants our girls to spend Thanksgiving with him.

 

My parents and sisters want the girls to spend the day with them.  Drew is NOT invited.

 

Drew's suggestion, a compromise -- lunch at his house, dinner at my parents.  the girls aren't thrilled with that, but they're OK with it.

 

My sisters are up in arms!  they told my parents that Jen was hysterically crying about how she "didn't want to go" to her father's house.

 

My parents are upset because my sisters are upset. 

 

And I am being portrayed as evil incarnate because I dared to support a father's right to see his daughters for the holiday.

cross posted at Songbird's Crazy World

A Food Miracle

Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't like to cook- at least most of the time.  The reason for this is that mostly I get grief from my kids about what I make, so why should I be interested in doing something that only gets me ragged on?

But this past week, I made 2 dishes that won approval from the kids.

The first was a shepherd's pie.  Well, it didn't win unqualified approval, but the comments were very constructive for when I should make it again.

The second was for some recipe called Sengalese Peanut Soup.  Rosie wasn't around for this meal, and since Abe told her that there were tomatoes in it, she didn't even want to try the leftovers.  But Abe and I had it as a whole meal.

Here are the recipes.

Easy Shepherd's Pie

Brown up 1 lb. of hamburger with seasoning

Drain the fat and put to the side

Make up 4 servings of instant mashed potatoes

Warm up and drain the water from 1 lb. of frozen mixed vegetables

Mix the hamburger and the veggies and put at the bottom of a casserole dish

Cover with the mashed potatoes and cook until the top is browned.

Sengalese Peanut Soup

Brown 2 boneless chicken breasts.  Cook almost all the way through and then cube.

Saute a large onion, several cloves of garlic and some celery.

Add 3 cups (I used 6 and it had more soup texture) chicken stock, curry powder, a little chili powder, 1 large can of drained, diced tomatoes and simmer for 10 minutes.  You can also add in shelled peanuts at this point.

Add back in the chicken and simmer at least 5 minutes, or until the chicken is fully cooked.

Add in 1 can of coconut milk and 3/4 cup chunky peanut butter.  Mix well and simmer until heated through.  (The peanuts can also be added at this point.)

Yummy!

Bits and Pieces

Today's post is just bits and pieces of news.

Abe is doing a fantastic job of helping out when Rosie needs to be picked up or needs a ride someplace and I can't or don't want to do it.  This past week there has been a lot of that.

One of the pick ups was when Rosie took the PSAT this past week.  She had been really worried about it beforehand, but afterwards said that it was easy.

Rosie is getting into college search mode.  We went to a college fair last week.  This put a bunch of new colleges on her list to look at, and even took a few off.  Why off?  One of the questions that we asked the college reps was about the jewish life on campus.  In a few cases, we were told that there is essentially none.  So off they went.

Rosie continues to be lovingly close to me.  I told her that I got dumped by my boyfriend and got a big hug and kiss from her.  She could see that I was NOT devastated by this- he hadn't been a keeper, but it certainly had been nice to be going out and doing things with another adult.

An All in the Family Wedding

We just went to a family wedding. 

Actually, we just were all in a family wedding.

Mom's first cousin, Jon, was finally getting married after years and years of talking about it (I think it's been under discussion for over 4 years!)

Nina, the bride, has bonded into our family and the wedding party is primarily composed of family members; her sons by a previous marriage, Rosie and Abe as attendents, Zeyde (Jon's uncle) as the best man and Ora as the maid of honor.

Why do I get the honor of primary female attendent?  I was the one who kept pushing for them to get married.

But to start off the weekend, Rosie got in more than 2 hours of highway driving (each way).  She drove us out to the western part of the state (and back)- and did a very nice job of it-even in heavy traffic at times in both directions.  She also finished her drivers' ed lessons and started the actual driving lessons part this past week.

But back to the wedding.  Nina decided that she wanted a 1920s (or 30s or 40s) themed wedding.  It was based on the fact that I had a gorgeous flapper dress that I had gotten for Rosie's Bat Mitzvah party, and it went from there.  Her boys were in Zoot suits & zeyde wore an old-fashioned style tuxedo. The groom wore white tux and the bride was in a traditional wedding gown.

And Rosie wore a teal dress with old-time styling. 

 
 But I knew that Abe wouldn't be comfortable in a Zoot suit, so he wore his grey suit, with a shirt and tie to coordinate with his sister. 

And everyone was beautiful!!  And a wonderful time was had by all.  And Abe actually socialized and talked to people- especially at the rehearsal dinner before he was all socialized out!  But boy, are we all tired!

New Beginnings

The new Jewish year has truly been a new beginning for our family.  In the same week as Rosh Hashanah, Abe started college and Rosie started her junior year of high school (read the crunch year).  And in the few weeks before that, the car that Abe had been driving quit and we had to get a new old car for him quickly, and there was a quick trip to California for a wedding. Rosie continued seeing and her camp boyfriend and Ora started a relationship too.

So a lot has changed for us.  Hopefully you'll excuse me for not having written in a few weeks.

Abe is doing pretty well at college, but he just got hit with a writing assignment- and writing is NOT his strength.  He got one paragraph done on it and then sat spinning his wheels.  I suggested that he go to the writing lab for help in between classes, but he instead went off to find a quiet place.  I'll have to find a way of getting him to get the help he desperately needs for writing.

This isn't a new problem, by any means, but I don't think that he realizes how big a problem it really can be even for someone in engineering or computers.

Rosie is already stressed out by school.  To start with, she didn't get into the ceramics class that she wanted.  She hates the teacher that she got and hasn't been able to transfer to the one that she likes.  Turns out that almost everyone is transferring out of this teacher's class!

And now she's going to transfer down out of Honors Biology into standard college prep Bio.  She thinks that she's a failure and is comparing herself against friends who are in 4 Honors classes, while she'll only be in Honors Math.

Considering that math was NOT my best subject, I'm pretty sure that my little girl will still get into top rated colleges and be able to study whatever she wants to do.  Something that she's not at all certain about right now.  But in her, I see myself at that age- certain that my life choices depend on the choices that I was about to make right at that time!

Another new beginning, was the wedding that we went to in California.  It was totally stressful to just go for the weekend, but we didn't want to miss more of work or school.  But the wedding was wonderful (if not exactly our style) and we love the groom (a cousin) and are growing to love the bride.  And it was great to see so much family all in one place- including a 100 year old patriarch!

But our beginnings have been hectic.  I hope that the next few weeks settle down a bit.

L'Shanah Tova!

 It's going to be a weird holiday. As a divorced parent I am used to split holidays,  my children periodically absent from my family table.

 

But this is different.   This isn't about custody and visitation and all that goes with it.

 

First, let's talk about Becca. She's living in a dorm now, and she's a freshman, so she feels she can't miss class.  She'll be home for Rosh HaShanah dinner -- she can either come home by train, and she can catch a ride back to the dorm with my sister who lives in Queens.    So she won't be sleeping in her own bed, she'll be leaving at the end of the evening.  I can live with that, I suppose.

 

But Jen....well, in previous years she'd come home for the holiday, make arrangements with her professors to make up the work she'd miss in order to celebrate the holiday. But today is the very first day of classes at her school.  "Mom, I can't miss the first week of classes, I'll never catch up!"

 

So she's not coming home.

 

Sigh.

My baby is grown up and on her own.  

 

My best wishes for a sweet and happy New Year to all.

 

 

cross posted at Songbird's Crazy World

Big Top Chautauqua: our last hurrah of summer

Look closely - behind the gravel walkway, beyond the tent on the left, is a hill. It's Wisconsin, so we can't call it a mountain. But in winter, people ski here.

Imagine - at the bottom of the hill, a big tent made of canvas, striped blue and white, sturdy and secure, with a stage inside. This place seats 900+ people in its theater for shows that run three and a half months a year, when the ground is thawed and the snow is gone.

Also on the grounds is a tent for concessions and souvenirs. We had a fish boil - Amigo's first. While he befriended the others at the table, I visited the souvenir stand and picked up a DVD and a t-shirt. Do you see the wires above the food tents? I wasn't kidding about the ski hill. The lift wires are up all year.

This, my friends, is the home of Lake Superior Big Top Chautauqua. Amigo and I have fallen in love with the home troupe, the Blue Canvas Orchestra, and their guest on this lovely night, author and humorist Michael Perry. We traveled to the Big Top for the first time this year, and we'll definitely go back. 

We rode to the tiny town of Bayfield on a coach bus filled with like-minded people: public radio fans who enjoy folk music and original drama. Amigo, with his fabulous memory for detail, won a prize in the bus' trivia contest the next day. He remembered a character's favorite ice cream: raspberry rumble. Silly me: I thought it was butter brickle. If it had been cappuccino, I would have remembered!