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March 01, 2010


She wasn't hurt by you blogging, she was hurt because she was kept in the dark about something she felt she had a right to know.

You didn't do anything wrong. You made the kind of decision that is part of parenting. When to tell your child painful things, when to tell your child dangerous things. Were you supposed to tell her about it at 3 and a half? Of course not. At 10? Who knows.

The difficulty in raising a child (ok, one of many) is that it is almost impossible to see the child's growth realisticly. In the eyes of a parent, 13 can still look like 3. By "discovering" you, and revealing that discovery, your daughter has let you know that she is ready for adult conversations, that she is ready to no longer be sheltered. However angrily, painfully, that is said, I'm not sure it is something a parent CAN figure out for herself. You have to be told. You can't go back and tell your daughter about her dad "first" before blogging it. All you can do is be more open in the future, treat her as an adult whenever she lets you.

Wow. So wow.

The person above (Megan) has said so many things which are perfect.

The thing about her Dad, yeah, that's pretty huge. But everyone has something huge in their life, which has been kept from them. ultimately out of love. Someone else will know before you, and that will be infuriating. But if it hasn't been this, it would be something else. It if hadn't been the internet, it would be someone else who knew.

You will never be able to undo the past, but you will forgive yourself and she will forgive you. Its a learning experience (albeit a painful one) for you both.

If blogging makes you happy, don't punish yourself by not doing it.

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