The sweetness of freedom

It's been more than 2 months since Em and Prince Charming broke up, and the dust is finally settling.  Enough for Em to be able to mention his name without her voice wavering at least.  Even enough to talk to me about their relationship and the outfall of its ending.

It was one of those great parenting moments when your teen opens up to you.  You know, those moments when you think for just a moment that you can actually do this parenting of teenagers thing?  One of those fleeting moments that are so beautiful.  And so rare! 

Anyway, Em chatted to me about Prince Charming and their relationship.  About all the reasons it wouldn't have worked long term - and why they were valid reasons.  (I did note that not a single positive aspect of their relationship was mentioned - Em's healing, not healed!)  I like the new perspective Em has on relationships, and I hope she'll remember the lessons she's learned, though, I have to be realistic as some of my sanest friends make the craziest relationship choices!  Em talked about how Prince Charming wanted to plan her life around his future dreams and that although he paid lip service to being willing to change his life to fit in with her dreams, it was just that.  Lip service.

I looked at my daughter and was struck with how mature she has become through this experience.  How wise in the ways of relationships and the messiness of families, and the needs and difficulties they create, she had become.  There was a little pang in my heart for this wisdom won from heartbreak, yet I felt proud of how she has analysed the relationship and gained that wisdom.

Em went on to talk about how happy she feels to be single now and acknowledged that without 'the year of being in love' she wouldn't feel satisfied with being single.  She's relishing her freedom to do all the things she wants to do without having someone wanting her time and feeling jealous of time spent elsewhere.  Em's involved in lots of things and that's what keeps her happy, it's her nature to be that way.  When she was with Prince Charming it was difficult for her to be involved in all that she wanted as he demanded so much of her time and complained when he didn't get enough of it. Em was flattered by his need for her and she loved spending time with her boy, but Em's an independent spirit and needs a partner who encourages her independence rather than being threatened by it.  The relief she feels at being free again means she's not feeling inclined to want to give it up.

So all in all, even though Em isn't able to think about the many lovely aspects of her relationship with Prince Charming, she's in a good place because of it.  She is happy and settled and focused because of it.  Because it happened, and because it ended.  It may be a bittersweet place to be, but it's a good place and it's more sweet than bitter.

Comments

[Kim]

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[Maureen at IslandRoar]

Eventually she'll come around to remembering the good as well. We hate to see them hurt; but they really do grow.
She sounds like a lovely kid!

[Ilona]

That's another lesson to be learned, too: pain is often a source of wisdom, and can jump-start our thinking. No one enjoys it, but it too has a role to play in helping us grow. Sounds like she's doing just that. What a great kid, and how lovely for you that she shared with you.

[songbird]

I've got two teen daughters, I've been witnesss to the breakups and heartaches. Your daughter is showing tremendous wisdom and poise about this breakup.