You've all read my posts for long enough to know that I have a relaxed, affectionate relationship with my three children. That I'm proud of them. I genuinely enjoy their company and that they seem to feel the same way about me. In between their many social obligations, of course, but all in all, mum's not a bad sort. Kind of cool, as far as mothers go.
I've admitted before I don't have a lot to complain about.
But they're normal. They're not nasty or mean-mouthed, they don't indulge in gratuitous sarcasm... but they are normal teens, which is why tonight, I can't summon up funny, and I sure as hell don't find any heart-warming in me.
You spend your life as the mother of a teen making accommodations to social needs, sports schedules, school demands, last-minute assigment panics. You cut them slack for their hormonal ebbs and flows. You manage not to roll your eyes during an impassioned declaration that the world as we know it is coming to an end, and you hold your tongue when they suffer the consequences of a bad decision (even when you warned them what would happen).
Because they're growing up, right? Because they still have a lot to learn, and they'll learn it better if you guide them with respect rather than sarcasm, with reasonable and reasoned limits rather than arbitrary, "because-I-said-so" rules. So you cut them slack. Some days you cut them a lot of slack, reminding yourself that though they have adult-sized bodies, they aren't adults yet.
And, in response to this respectful, responsive guidance, they reciprocate by cutting you slack when you drop the ball, when you make some small mistake, when your middle-aged-challenged memory causes you to (oh, the horror) repeat a story they're heard before.
HA!
Like hell they do.
Funny? Heart-warming? Pfft. Mostly, I just want to drop-kick someone.
Boooo...
Hang on hon...they won't let you know they were listening or even cared what you had to say...
Until they leave home...
But..eventually they get around to saying some pretty wicked cool things about you. (Hugs)Indigo
Posted by: Indigo | January 23, 2009 at 10:30 AM
We had just the opposite kinda day yesterday. Our house is usually strife city, but yesterday it was smooth as silk. I have no clue why, but I'll take it.
They'll be nice again once they all pass 25. That's MY mantra, anyhow
Posted by: margalit | January 23, 2009 at 11:38 AM
Indigo - Thanks! My kids do all right by me much of the time. But once in a while... Grrrr!
Maralit - And you may never know what triggers it, one way or the other, but isn't it lovely when it happens? (My oldest is 23 and she's lovely ALL the time, so maybe it'll happen sooner than 25.)
Posted by: Ilona | January 23, 2009 at 12:48 PM
You repeated a story they already heard? How dare you!
I'm mean seriously, we gotta listen to their chatter, their whining and their "music" for some 20 odd years...the least they can do is listen to a story we've told maybe a handful of times.
Boooo indeed.
Posted by: Zayna | January 23, 2009 at 05:08 PM
oh. my. GAWD.
you have SOME nerve repeating a story. well, i never...
(or hardly ever ... or ... um ... at least once a day?)
Posted by: the planet of janet | January 23, 2009 at 05:57 PM
My teen will probably take longer to move out due to his disabilities. Give me strength!!
Posted by: Daisy | January 23, 2009 at 07:20 PM
Thank you. So nice to know there are people out there who can empathize. She's a lovely girl, and I love her to bits... except those times I'd like to pop her one...
Posted by: Ilona | January 26, 2009 at 06:19 AM