I'm wondering when my teenage daughter became an Eskimo, I even did the research- I traced my family tree...just in case. Nope, no Eskimo blood anywhere in our family. So, I'm just wondering how her urine is SO freezing. When I handed her the little cup for her monthly drug test she moaned and groaned and handed me back a freezing cup of "urine." I glanced at the almost clear freezing liquid and Iaughed. Then I proceeded to dump the liquid down the sink and demanded a 're-pee.' The second time around I was handed a nice warm cup of urine that I labeled and sent off to the lab. A lab that my daughter constantly thinks is wrong. This time, the only thing that showed up was marijuana. I know, I know... marijuana is illegal, but I'm just happy the drug test didn't show anything worse. Her punishment? No car for two weeks and $40.00 to pay for the drug test.
I wonder when my daughter will realize that I'm actually smarter than her. I wonder if she knows that I have her email password and that I read her text messages. I wonder if she knows that I am one step ahead of her-always.
I'm Mariah and I am happy to join Mid Century Modern Moms, where we can 'Spill the beans about our teens.' You can also find me at Manic Mariah where I babble endlessly about everything.
I used to tell my daughter whatever you think, whatever you do, I've already done it and probably did it better! It always amazes me how kids look at us like Dinosaurs who couldn't possibly know what they're up to. As for having the password to everything internet, isn't that a mom's obligation...I always thought so. I would rather know, than not what the chances are my daughter was doing what I thought she was doing. She made it to 20 and is married to a soldier. I think I got something right. (Hugs)Indigo
Posted by: Indigo | January 10, 2009 at 10:53 AM
welcome to the zoo, mariah.
and yes, i think our kids really do think we arrived on this planet fully grown -- and ignorant.
Posted by: the planet of janet | January 10, 2009 at 11:33 AM
Welcome, Mariah! Our kiddos don't realize we've already been there, done that, wrote the blog on it. And we'll keep writing the blog on it!
Posted by: Daisy | January 10, 2009 at 03:38 PM
The upside to all this is that they'd be way better at outsmarting us if they realized just how smart we were. Never underestimate the opposition, kiddies. A life lesson they haven't quite mastered -- and a good thing too!
Posted by: Ilona | January 10, 2009 at 05:23 PM
But I am curious: why the monthly urine test? And the punishment: was it for trying to deceive you, or for the pot?
Posted by: Ilona | January 10, 2009 at 06:42 PM
Hi llona~ I do the monthly test for both of my teenagers. I started to do it in an attempt to make it "easier" for them to say NO. My son (13)says that it is helpful, because when people offer him drugs he quickly says NO, my mom drug tests me.
No car was for the positive drug result.
Posted by: Mariah | January 10, 2009 at 09:57 PM
Crazy kid! I just pray that my 3yo does not do even half of the crap that her daddy & I did!
One of my friends has the original version of Hacker and whenever her sone does anything bad she crashes his myspace account to teach him a lesson. I find that to be pretty damn funny!
Keep up the drug tests! It is something mom's to teens have to do these days! Drugs are so big now and they have gotten worse!
Good luck to you! Glad you found a place to confess about your kids without them finding out!!
Posted by: Single Mom Claire | January 10, 2009 at 10:05 PM
oh darlin'...been there, done that. I've never been handed a cup of cold pee though, that's a new one! Don't they know the test comes with a temp gauge?
you sound like a good mom. hang in there!
Posted by: Pamela | January 10, 2009 at 10:06 PM
Wow. Counting my blessings. So far I just have to worry about my son's WoW addiction.
Posted by: daNanner | January 10, 2009 at 10:10 PM
This is exactly what my daughter would do. I swear, your daughter and my daughter could be twins. Same crafty, devious but slightly dim mind! :-)
Posted by: margalit | January 10, 2009 at 10:14 PM
Freezing urine? Did she really think she could get away with that? Good lord.
Teenagers! I dread having them...
Posted by: Rhea | January 10, 2009 at 10:16 PM
Well my dear...I can tell you that as a teen, I thought that I could outsmart mom and it took me forever to figure out that she knew EVERYTHING. And this was WAY before texts, email and the internet.
Good luck to us all!!!!
Posted by: BedsideTalesMan | January 10, 2009 at 10:20 PM
I chuckle when I find seeds and don't tell him. Found a nice chamber pipe under his dresser. He still hasn't asked for it. I wonder if he ever will. The other day we took his car to Wally world for some tires I had shipped there. When we left I drove. I noticed the burn marks and ashes from cigs along the drivers window seal. He said it was a friend driving. Now I know what one smoke does to the window seal...nothing (barely) this looked like a cartons worth of "damage". I hope he quits before he spends a fortune on them. Lets see 18yo, 30 bucks every 2 wks (now?)x 18 yrs = $14,040 ultra conservative number too. Shit now I'm thinking about all the $ I friggin' wasted on miscellaneous "recreationals" OK nevermind I'm done Quit herb decades ago, booze two years. Find it hard to get it to him as he knows my persona includes Harley's, Jack Daniels and the Grateful Dead.
Posted by: Outdoors2 | January 10, 2009 at 11:33 PM
I've been lucky that I never had to do drug tests on both of my kids. They are 21 and 18 . I'm sure my 21 yr old has tried it. I like Danner's comment about her son's WOW addiction,,,LOL. I think mine has the same addiction.
#1
Posted by: Philly | January 11, 2009 at 09:57 AM
Thank goodness I don't have to do that! Mine are 21 and 23...all safe and sound in college. Bwhahaha...do you think I was born yesterday? NOT! I'm sure they're doing things I disapprove of, but...for the time being, they are both making straight A's and I can breath for a few minutes!
Posted by: Debbie | January 12, 2009 at 10:11 PM