The saga continues. Rebekah is holding her own, but it hasn't been easy. And, being fifteen, she has had her ups and downs...
- Said to me: "They think that by keeping me out of their group, they're really punishing me. They can't imagine that anyone wouldn't want to be part."
A little background on my fabulous daughter: When she was in sixth grade, a minion of that grade's Queen Bee came to Rebekah's table at lunch to invite her to sit at the Queen Bee's table. Rebekah's friends were all hugely impressed, and totally expected her to abscond to those more exalted realms. Everyone, her friends and minions alike, were shocked when Rebekah, politely and matter-of-factly said, "No, thanks. I'm eating with my friends." So, when she says she doesn't want to be part, it's likely not just sour grapes.
- Shouted at the remorseless universe: "If this were happening to an adult, you'd just change jobs! Why does a 15-year-old have to 'see it through'?!!"
- Confronting one of The Group. "I don't know you. We've never met, we've never talked. What gives you the right to shout out "Skank!" when I walk into the room?"
- Said to me: "There are still people who'll ask me to be in their group for classwork. The mean girls think they don't count because they're nerds. I'd rather be friends with a nice nerd than a bitchy 'popular' girl."
- Sobbed at me: "People will be nice to me in class now, but no one is brave enough to walk through the halls with me. Wherever I go, everyone is staring and whispering, and no one wants to risk that happening to them because they're with me."
- When asked how she managed with girls hissing insults and gossip about her, deliberately audible in her English class. "I tuned them out, paid attention, and took FABULOUS notes." A grin, and then, "I'll be doing a whole lot better academically."
Though I do see progress, I still don't know how this will turn out. I'm so, so, so proud of her I could burst. I ache, how I ache for her. I've laughed, I've cried, I've burned with rage. Hope, relief, dread, despair, it's all been there.
And I recall, once again, just exactly why I loathed high school.
ugh. high school SUCKED... and still does.
your daughter, however, is my idol. her attitude is amazing.
Posted by: the planet of janet | December 26, 2008 at 02:58 PM
She sounds like a very strong and emotionally healthy girl. That said: oh, my, she is going through hell! She's lucky to have you for moral support.
Posted by: Daisy | December 26, 2008 at 03:02 PM
I went through the same thing with my daughter in the 9th-10th grade. It breaks our hearts but they do come out stronger, more resilent because of it. Kids can be cruel these days. I wish her a world of confidence to get past this stage in school. (Hugs)Indigo
Posted by: Indigo | December 26, 2008 at 08:50 PM
Deliberately audible? How come the teacher hasn't noticed then? Don't they have anti-bullying policies on your side of the pond? At my high school, this would be taken seriously.
Posted by: Z | December 27, 2008 at 10:42 AM
My daughter Rebecca is 16 and also has had to deal with "Queen Bee" issues, so I can sympathize. You want to just fix it for them, but you can't. It sounds like your rebekah has a good head on her shoulders and will persevere.
Posted by: songbird | December 29, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Planet of Janet - Thanks. She consistently impresses me. I'm quite sure I wouldn't have coped as well at that age.
Daisy - Thank you. She's doing well, it's getting better, she will prevail, but (cries the mother in me) why should she HAVE to? Life lessons, I keep telling myself. Life lessons.
Indigo - You're right. She will come out stronger. I don't think this kind of thing is anything new, though. Kids have always been cruel. High school is only one small step on the journey. Thank goodness!
Z - In the interests of a concise post, many details have been left out. In fact, the school has been dealing with it exceptionally well. I may have to post one last time on the subject, to fill in some of the gaps -- and, I hope, relate the happy conclusion.
Songbird - She does, she is, and she will. But yes! How I ache to make it all better, even when I know that the very best "better" there is, is for her to see it through and learn that she has that kind of strength.
Posted by: Ilona | December 29, 2008 at 06:08 PM
She sounds amazing. Just found this blog and I too hated high school. She definitely would have been my friend in high school. I'm hoping that things get much better for her.
Posted by: Perksofbeingme | January 04, 2009 at 02:06 AM