As anyone who has read my posts here or on my blog knows, the last 2 years or so with my teen daughter Anna have not been the best of my life. It hasn't been fun seeing my affectionate, friendly little girl morph into a hostile, alienated teenager who I could not, by the farthest stretch of my imagination, connect with the daughter I had once known and loved.
When I would complain about her to friends, they would be quick to reassure me that "she'll come back." Come back? I didn't want her back. I wanted her to go away, far away, so I could stop feeling so miserable every day. I wouldn't trust her if she did "come back" - who knew when she would turn on me again?
And then yesterday, at dinner, her littlest sister Susie did this not-so-endearing trick she has of spitting out "yucky" food onto the table between her and Anna. Understand that, for the past 2 years, an episode of this nature would result in Anna leaving the table in utter disgust and perhaps holing herself up in her bedroom for 24 hours to recover from the experience. So, reflexively, I winced.
Imagine my shock when I heard Anna laugh. Laugh! And then I heard her, still laughing, say, "Oh, that's so gross, stop it, Susie!" in a sweetly cajoling voice - a voice I haven't heard in a long, long time.
And my heart? You know, the heart hardened by 2 years of teen daughter hostility and anger? It melted. Just like that.
Such a silly little moment but my heart melted too reading about it.
Posted by: Sylvia | October 05, 2008 at 08:26 AM
Oh congrats! What a beautiful moment!
Posted by: Jami | October 05, 2008 at 10:52 AM
That's what mother are there for, and it's in this moments that you really get to know the meaning of forgiveness. Ain't easy being a mom, like it's not easy being a teenager - learn to understand each other is probably what I would do in the situation. Keep your eyes on her, hey someday, she will be out of your house and starting her own life, her own family. You'll sure be having one of these moments again, saying to yourself, if only I could have been a better moment, but wait re-track, you won't because you did your job as any mom would have done in your situation, loved her regardless. Then she would be exactly the way you imagined her to be, just as she is :)..In your mind - you wouldn't have had it any other way.
Posted by: Cazza | October 05, 2008 at 12:35 PM
Awww. Here's to many more such moments!
Posted by: edj | October 05, 2008 at 03:08 PM
And that is why they come to us so small and helpless, they make us love them, so we can bank it away for the teenage years and remember, we still love them. My best advice to you, is when the good moments come, enjoy them, treasure them, let go of the ugly, because now is what you have. (Hope that doesn't sound preachy, because I really mean it. It can be hard when an hour before they are slamming the door and saying you are ruining their lives, and then, they might reach out, for just a moment, and for you to let go of what happened, and reach back) Someday, I promise, she will be back full time and the teen years will be gone a puff. Thank goodness.
Posted by: Jo | October 05, 2008 at 07:06 PM
Ohhhh...well, I'm thrilled. My best friend and her husband are going.through.it (and by 'it' I mean...well, you know) with their 18 year old son. It's been a tough, tough season--and the little breaks in the clouds like the one your so beautifully write about above have been precious and much needed--so thrilled for the sunshine rays!
Blessings!
Posted by: Octamom | October 05, 2008 at 08:15 PM
Sweet. I'm not looking forward to the teen years. . .7 (the age) can really kick my butt.
Posted by: Fairly Odd Mother | October 05, 2008 at 08:43 PM
I have 2 girls, 7 years apart, and I love these moments. Here's hoping there's many more....
Have you entered to win Petunia Pig?
Posted by: Lynn K. | October 05, 2008 at 09:04 PM
Now I have...
Posted by: suburbancorrespondent | October 05, 2008 at 10:35 PM
oh, thank you. you give me hope!!!
Posted by: the planet of janet | October 05, 2008 at 11:34 PM
Hope -- there is hope. Celebrate!
Posted by: GGKnits | October 06, 2008 at 10:37 AM
Good Luck. It took committing a crime for my YARM13YOL to wake up...
Posted by: Kaye | October 06, 2008 at 05:18 PM
What a wonderful moment! I dread the teenage years with our oldest too. It seems that kids morph into horrible creatures during this period. Funnily enough, I don't remember going through this as a teenager. I thought I was pretty decent, but who knows? :)
Posted by: Rosie : ) | October 07, 2008 at 03:46 PM
Yup, you need a boy in the mix so they could describe the disgust for you, lmao!
Posted by: Jerri Ann | October 07, 2008 at 08:27 PM
One more thing, will you join our De-lurking day tomorrow, I have buttons and codes on my site or you can probably make some that are much prettier.....please?
Posted by: Jerri Ann | October 07, 2008 at 08:29 PM
Jerri Ann, I've gone to your site, but it seems to be down for maintenance. I can't find anything about de-lurking there.
Posted by: suburbancorrespondent | October 08, 2008 at 08:09 AM
I am so happy to hear this! As the mother of a 4 year old girl I have shuddered over Anna stories. I don't think I could have made it for two years.
Posted by: c | October 14, 2008 at 02:06 AM
You have to blog about these times, so you can look back on them, when you wonder why she is allowed to be in your home.
Posted by: Bonnie | October 15, 2008 at 11:40 PM