Teens in Synagogue

by Ora

Warning:  This post is blatantly Jewish and pro-Judaism.  If you have any problem with that, please go read some other writer.

This past week was the Jewish High Holy Days of Rosh Hashana- which literally means "Head of the Year".  This coming week is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.  All three of these days mean, for me and many, many others, that we spend a significant amount of time in shule (synagogue) attending services.  Or at least (most of) the adults do.  For the teens of all sizes and shapes, these days mean time to hang out with their Jewish friends, and (oh yeah) maybe go to the Teen services.  It also means, especially for the girls, a time to dress up and show off new clothes.

So what is a parent to do?  The common thought among many of my friends is that "at least they are at shule and are hanging out with other Jewish kids".  It's not that we don't want them hanging out with other people, but Judaism is a religion that values maintaining traditions down through the generations- and these kids will only perpetrate that by marrying other Jews.

Many of these teens have gone through many years of Jewish day school (9 or more) and are experiencing educational freedom for the first time as High School freshman.  It can be really hard on a teen to have to think Jewish thoughts (in Hebrew) for 5 days a week, and then go to services at shule on one of your days off.  Of course, for Rosh Hashana, the day schools were all closed, and many of the public schools closed for the first day of RH.  But there is all of that school-work that they are missing.

But back to shule.  It's long been a tradition that there are religious services set up for people of different age levels.  There is a "tot" service for the youngest ones.  There is a "mini" service for K-3rd graders.  There is a "junior" service for the next age group.  There is a "teen" service for (who else?) the teenagers.  And there is the "adult" service for everyone else.  Oh yeah, and there is the hall- where you can pretend that you are in one of the above services, but really spend time catching up on everyone else!

So Mom is supposed to take it on faith (this is religion, after all) that her kids, and their friends, are at the appropriate service while she remains inside the main sanctuary doing her own praying.  It's easy with the tot and mini services; parents are supposed to attend those with the kids (and keep them from wrecking havoc), but those older kids..., especially those teens....  They're the ones that pop into the adult services (to make sure that you are still in there??) and say that the teen services are all over and yes, they went.  But now we're just hanging out. 

Do you know where I found a whole bunch of college freshmen?  Sitting on the floor in one of the coatrooms!!  The girls with their (very) high heels and beautiful outfits and the boys in their suits and ties (well some still had on the ties).  These kids have all grown up together and are very comfortable together- even if they hadn't seen each for a while.  The big news of the day was that one of these girls (at least she used to be one of these girls) just got engaged to the nice Jewish boy that she met at Jewish overnight camp many years ago.

Maybe they did all attend religious services when they were supposed to.  The kids are all growing up so nicely.  Now if only we could stop our parents from aging at the same time!

Comments

[suburbancorrespondent]

Why the defensiveness? We're not allowed to write about our holidays? The thought never crossed my mind.

I remember those days of hanging out in the lobby or outside and comparing fall wardrobes!

[Daisy]

Loved the post! I'm not Jewish, so I enjoyed the insight.

[Paula]

I really enjoyed your post. I'm not Jewish but I think that it is important for families of all religions and races to uphold their traditions. Good for you for following through! Your children will thank you some day!