Err and go bra-less

If you're 14, female and starting high school, your outfit for the first day is of primary importance.

In fact, some teenagers I know **coughcoughRoo-girlcoughcough** spend DAYS planning just the right thing.

So imagine the planning and rearranging and closet-diving that must come from having TWO first days of school.

Yes, two. Roo-girl's school is on a sort of block schedule where they have only three of their six classes on any given day. The periods are therefore longer, which is supposedly conducive to getting more done. Even-numbered periods one day; odd-numbered periods the next.

Voila. Two first days of school -- one even, one odd. Ergo, two outfits needed.

Witness happy girl in outfit No. 1 (odd):

 

And -- uh -- girl in outfit No. 2 (even):

Please note that outfit No. 2 came complete with sullen looks, huffing, stomping of feet and door slamming.

What you CAN'T see in that photo is ... um ... the back of the shirt.

This is NOT what the shirt looked like, but it IS representative of how much bra showed when she turned around.

Only her bra was shocking pink.

Now.

In MY day (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and we had to walk 10 miles to school in the snow -- uphill BOTH WAYS!), a bra strap peeking out onto your shoulder from your sleeveless top was a fashion faux pas that sent us running to the bathroom hide in abject humiliation.

Today, in the era of innerwear as outerwear, a peekaboo bra strap is the LEAST of the offending fashion statements.

Alas, I wasn't planning to write a diatribe about slutwear for children. In fact, when I started writing this post, I had planned a perky treatise on my daughter's amusing idea that she actually HAD two first days of school.

But apparently, the Clothing Wars of 2008-09 have begun.

I told her I objected to the bra exposure. She countered with a white bra instead.

I repeated my objection to the bra exposure. She countered by pulling the shirt UP in back, hiding the bra hooks but resulting in pulling the shirt DOWN in front, exposing the -- ahem -- topward bulge of her developing teenly bosom.

I sent her in search of a cami to wear UNDER the shirt and solve the problem by covering it up.

She returned in high dudgeon.

Wearing a cami t-shirt.

Under the offending backless shirt.

In her defense, it did look kinda stupid. The real way to solve this dilemma would have been to change the outfit.

Instead, she humphed and phumphed around the house, slamming doors and books and whatever else was in her way.

And so it was that I left the house with a scowling, sullen teen in my passenger seat.

When she requested that I drop her off in front of the gym, I looked and her and laughed.

"Why?" I said. "So you can go into the bathroom and change?"

"MOM," she snarled. "That's SO retarded!"

I laughed again.

And got a car door slammed in my face for my trouble.

So I was not surprised when my BFF, who had heard the story already and was volunteering at the high school that morning, texted me several hours later with the following words:

"Saw her bra."

Yes, my lovely, sweet, adorable, 360-head-spinning, pea-soup-spewing 14-year-old child had removed the cami once she was out of my mean-mom clutches.

BUSTED.

I hope her locker looked sexy in it.

Comments

[amzy5]

funny janet.

but same as it ever was.

i remember when i was a teen (during that same dinosaur period that you were). make-up was an issue with our parents, the blue eyes hadow heavy eye liner thing. and similar to your precious Roo girl, we put it on in the bathroom instead of 'taking it off'.

teen fashion will never be accepted by parents. and teens will always want to fit in. unless they are parents who dress like teens. and THAT is a problem on a whole different level.

[Daisy]

Ah, at least she wore one! By the way, love the sandals in outfit #2.

[Latte Mommy]

I'm sorry, Janet, but that second photo is *classic*! Frankly I'm amazed she let you take the picture, she looks so sour about it all! Major turn-around from photo #1.

So, did you confront her about shedding the cami at school?

To be perfectly honest, I would have let it slide. But, my Princess is only 3. In a few years I may feel differently. :)

[the planet of janet]

i DID speak to the young lady about her fashion problem. when i talk to her about trust, she tends to listen because that is VERY important to her.

also, i guess she really did think i just fell off the turnip truck. i let her know that 1) i was a teenager and i KNOW all these tricks cuz i either did it or saw it.

and 2) i have spies. if she does stuff like that ... I. WILL. KNOW! :-)

[chrisb]

I wondered about the shorts because I don't think they would be allowed in any of our schools or maybe I'm even pre-dinosaur!

[nikki]

We fight here just to get Ken take a shower! Did she really think she could get away with it?

[Karen]

I have two daughters who are now in their 30's. When daughter #2 was a teen, we had clothing battles like this. She also went through the too much makeup phase, and some days, all I had to do was look at her, and she would stomp up the stairs to the bathroom to remove it. (she has thanked me for that, by the way)

One thing I have to say about the bra-peek-a-boo-t-shirt thing, is that you are the mom, and you buy the clothing. Why does she even own it?

[Melody]

Oh dear - Teenagers!!

I'm already telling my kids:

"You can't fool me. If there is a trick to be pulled, I have already done it, so don't bother. I WILL KNOW."

Heading them off at the pass...

[hall monitor]

Speaking of appropriate dress, check out this story from Ohio about cheerleaders not being able to wear skirts anymore!

Found here: http://detentionslip.org

[junebug]

Would not wearing a bra have solved this problem? At my girl's school shirts like that would not even have been allowed nor shorts that were any shorter than a dollar bill above your knee!

[LSM]

Both outfits would have gotten her sent home from school around here. :) Not that it eliminates the arguments. Both my girls decry their "long arms" because shorts and skirts have to be fingertip length to be worn to school. We also have a "no visible underwear" rule.

Oh, and I read the Ohio cheerleader article. We haven't allowed cheerleaders or dance team girls to wear their uniforms to school for years. In fact, several of the moms on my younger daughter's dance team were complaining about that just the other day since the elementary schools allow them to wear the uniforms at school and now that they're at the middle school they can't.

[junebug]

P.S. I love her gladiator sandals. And she sure does have a pretty pout, lovely lips!

[suburbancorrespondent]

Definitely confiscate the shirt! And hooray for spying friends!

[Ilona]

She's a nice, petite girl with a nice girlish figure, with a desire to push the boundaries in a nice, girlish way. Now, mine... at 13 she was sporting a girlish 34B, and now, at just-turned-15 is into a very womanly 34D, possibly moving to DD. You think peekaboo brastraps are outre? Be thankful you're not fighting the battle of the mondo cleavage... sigh...

[Ilona]

p.s. My 15-year-old says there is a kind of bra designed for that kind of shirt, where the back strap can be adjusted to go "so low it's practically around your waist". You might want to look into that.

[ame i.]

I live in West TN. Our public schools don't allow visible undergarments and also has the "fingertip" rule about shorts or skirts. In elementary, shorts have to be worn under skirts or dresses. I'm not sure about the upper grades. My 8 year old has long legs, so I have to buy her shorts & skirts a couple of sizes too large and my mom alters the waist. Starting with 5th graders, our schools have even more strict dress codes. Jeans must be dark colored, short sleeve shirts must have collars.
My 10 year old is in private school this year and must wear uniforms from a particular uniform shop. We have to follow the 3 inches above the knee rule.

[Emma kw]

Please ask your daughter to not use the phrase retarded ever again. In is hurtful and demeaning to people with intellectual disabilities.It is as offensive as n@#gger, maybe more so as the people it hurts are the most vunerable in society. I am surprised that know one else on this blog has called you on this, when several are mothers to children with Intellectual and develomental challenges.

[Janet]

If she needs a bit of reality check, at the prison camp, er, private school, girls had to wear dresses every day, no shorter than 1 inch above the knee. This was in the early 70s, when the miniskirt was still pretty popular. This meant that my mother had to make my clothes from the time I was 10 to about 15, although I learned how to sew at 11 so I made a couple of things myself. In 5th grade I had 5 dresses, one for each day of the week. All the same pattern, 5 different cotton print fabrics. You don't wear homemade clothes at a private school. You. Just. Do. Not.

We were allowed to wear nice slacks for ballgames (to accommodate sitting in bleachers), but never jeans. The boys could wear jeans, but their hair had to be cut above their ears and no length at all on their necks. Think "An Officer and a Gentleman."

I want those sandals.

[kaytabug]

Oh me oh my that 2nd pic is one sour puss face! You are such a mean mommy, ha ha ha ha ha ha NOT!

I do think they make bras that the back strap goes down really low...that is if you haven't tore that shirt to shreds yet!

[merlotmom]

My daughter is 12 and after seeing that second picture - I am scared! I've told myself we're in the calm before the storm but just seeing that face (I've seen it on my own daughter but not for a few years), the terror came flooding back. Thanks?

[Molly]

What a cutie your daughter is, even with the bershon expression. I take it your daughter's school doesn't have a dress code--none of those clothing items would have gotten past the clothing enforcers at my kids' schools. Saved me a lot of headaches, because the schools were more conservative than I would have been.

[Susan]

I'm glad my 11-yr old is required to wear uniforms and skirts/shorts can be no shorter than 3" above the knee. What cracks me up is why on earth does a girl her age need a huge purse like that? Exactly what all does she carry in it? lol

[Jenni in KS]

Ugh. I feel for both sides. As mom of a 16yodd and an 11 1/2yodd, I hafta say I despise the bra straps hanging out underneath the spaghetti strap tanks. Yuck. That's what a strapless is for. I've given up on that battle. At least Na is still in sport bras and wider strapped tanks so it looks like she is just layering tanks. BUT, what do you do with a shirt like that? I'm just as opposed to the perky/pokey look. Maybe you should buy her some of those stick on jobs.

[Pamela]

am I happy that I'm not raising girls in today's environment.
Deliriously.

[htazs hefci]

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