By Nina
11th grade. I hated it the first time around with Jaws and I'm not looking forward to it again, but sure enough, junior year of high school is coming back to bite my butt with child #2.
For all my non-helicoptering, (see last weeks post) I did happen to pick up the cell phone this morning on the way to work and call Grumble in Israel. He was actually in the kibbutz infirmary nursing a cold and seeming curiously happy to be missing a day where his compadres would be rafting the Jordan River and walking around in wet bathing suits . . . which is what landed him in the sick bay to begin with after a day in wet suits at the Kinneret, the Sea of Galilee. It's not a big deal, just a cold, he needs to sleep and he'll be fine.
But here are the words that came out of my mouth across the thousands of miles and time zones between us.
ME: Hi Honey, so how's the reading going? (That would refer to the 4 books he'll need to complete before school begins on August 26th)
GRUMBLE: Reading?
ME: You know, for school.
GRUMBLE: Oh yeah, I've been reading a little.
ME: A little isn't going to cut it. But being in the infirmary for a day is a great opportunity to read. And what about reading on the bus? I hope you're doing a little of that.
GRUMBLE: Mom, this is my vacation!
ME: Hey, I have some good news. You know the math tutor we used in 9th grade? Well guess what, he teaches SAT review at the place I've signed you up for.
GRUMBLE: You already signed me up? So what's the bad news?
ME: Well, the SAT review class starts on your birthday.
GRUMBLE: Oh crap!
And so I gird my loins for 11th grade and all its stresses. The acquisition of the driver's license. The PSAT's and the SAT's. The insane avalanche of mail from colleges. The crazy competition over college that starts to seep into every conversation and pits kid against kid. The sense that EVERYTHING COUNTS. The pressure of A.P. classes that in our school are probably less interesting than what the teachers offer in 11th grade, but which the kids feel compelled to take to impress admissions officers. The planning of college visits. The requests for teacher recommendations. The knowledge that if I push the local state university -- where he could go tuition free if he graduates with a B average -- it will be the kiss of death. Whereas is some friend or senior raves about it, he'll be all over it.
I walk on eggs.
Eleventh grade, stealer of children, stressor of households, wrecker of relationships, GPA, SAT, PSAT monster, I hate you.
I hate the SATs, too. Although, I guess if he really wants his license, you can use that as an incentive to get him to study for those horrible tests.
Those state university tuitions sure are appealing, no? We told our kids that, unless they get some sort of all-expense scholarship out of state, that they will just have to settle for not going anywhere too far. I figure they can get out of state for grad school, on their dime.
Posted by: suburbancorrespondent | July 23, 2008 at 09:11 AM
Oh, that junior year! It's amazing how important it can be - to parents, if not to the young 'uns.
Posted by: Daisy | July 23, 2008 at 10:05 AM
this post speaks volumes to me. i escaped some of the pressures of 11th grade with my first two (oh please dont ask -- it wasn't pretty but they have managed to become functioning, reasonably successful adults), but with thing 3, i thought i would have to commit hare kiri.
thank GAWD i have another two years before i have to go through this again.
Posted by: the planet of janet | July 23, 2008 at 11:36 AM
You didn't mention ACT & SAT Subject Tests! We just finished the 11th grade year - now on to more stress with the college applications and all that FUN!
Posted by: Nancy | July 23, 2008 at 12:19 PM
I feel your pain. We just completed the 11th grade year, where I know our son got pretty weary of every conversation somehow being tied to college this or SAT that or scholarships everywhere (or nowhere, depending on how those SATs go). Stressful for all involved. AP classes, college visits, pressure and more pressure. And yet exciting too. He fell in love with his second college choice during our visit there, so it promptly moved to the number one spot. Only problem is, it's a private university (albeit a really well respected one, especially in his chosen field), which costs in the neighborhood of 3 or 4 times more than the state university which was originally the number one pick. But, we want him to go where he will feel at home and happy and will thrive and be enthusiastic about all aspects of college life. So, he will take the SAT again (he got a high enough score to get a scholarship, but not as much of one as we need). And we will pray a lot for the school to be so impressed with him at his music school audition (he wants to major in music education) that they will throw a lot more money at him. We want him to follow his dream, but he may have a few loans of his own to pay back as a result of it. Hang in there - that 11th grade year is so tough, but it's also when you actually start seeing glimpses of the adult they will become, in between the bouts of yelling at them for, say, NOT DOING THEIR READING or turning in that AP Calculus assignment. And even at that level, AP classes and all, they are still making them do PROJECTS. The bane of my existence, those PROJECTS. I hope they don't have them in college . . .
Posted by: Gail Clark | July 23, 2008 at 10:39 PM
I am ...4 years away from my last of 4 children being in 11th grade but well I remember it. Two marriages, two grandkids, one marriage coming in a month...3 college graduations, working on 2 graduate degrees and one associate...and here we sit...in relative quiet with the only shoes and socks being left around being mine...( by the way, they do have projects in college, but we no longer are involved! we just wish we were! ) It's wierd. Enjoy the craziness. It doesn't go away, altogether it just morphs! And your family grows in size...and when you ARE together, there are more sharing the bathrooms, more socks and shoes, and more...of everything. But really, nothing ever seems as face paced and demanding as that 11th grade stuff!
Posted by: Linda | July 25, 2008 at 07:26 PM
Oh my I remeber those days. Thank goodness ManSon and Oldest Daughter are now high school graduates. ManSon decided to wait on College...now that will totally freak you out! On the other hand Oldest Daughter attended her first class at the college the morning of her high school graduation and still going strong.
I have 8 more years until Snow White is in the 11th grade.
I feel for you. I really, truly do.
Posted by: MommasWorld | July 26, 2008 at 10:07 PM