by Laura Benedict
Just now—no lie—Pomegranate came in to say that she knows that just because she doesn’t do drugs or have sex doesn’t mean she’s a good person. Also that it scares her a little because God gives her pretty much everything she asks for now, and does it mean her life is going to suck later, or will she suddenly die in a tsunami or something.
Our discussion veered well into the religious and philosophical, so I won’t delve into it here. But I will say that she is a good person. She’s nice without being sappy or condescending; she’s one of those kids who doesn’t just hang with one group of friends, but floats. She works very hard for her grades and the solos she gets in choir performances. She’s almost always kind to her unpredictable, emotion-driven little brother. And she’s occasionally grateful for what she has.
How in the hell did this happen? Where did this angel-child come from?
Oh, I have my exasperated moments: When she says, “Why do you hate me?” after realizing that I’m not going to change the whole family’s travel plans so that she can go to a party. Or when her father replaces the five gajillion gigabyte video Ipod he bought her “just because” with a refurbished one because she carelessly lost the one he gave her. Or when she asks me if she can pretty-please drive on her own to meet her boyfriend a mere three days after we revoked her driving privileges for an undetermined amount of time—and you would’ve done the same if you had seen her pull out in front of a school bus, nearly killing herself and her little brother because she hadn’t bothered to wipe off the passenger window. Or when she hurt my feelings last week, making me want to cry. But, I digress….
Sometimes I get a little suspicious of the goodness of her in much the same way she is suspicious of the bountiful circumstances of her life. Does that sound ridiculous? I don’t understand how she is the way she is, and I certainly don’t deserve to have such a well-behaved child. It freaks me out.
I’ve probably mentioned this before, but I was a nightmare of a teenager—that girl who was always getting other kids into trouble, that girl that no mother of a son wanted to see show up on her doorstep. Ah, those were the days. I’m so tame now. For a long time I looked back on those years with intense mortification. But I confess that I’m just a smidge proud of that rebel girl who got a job taking clothes at the dry cleaner’s counter at the age of fifteen so she could support her clothes, gasoline, concert ticket, boyfriend, and—not long after—beer and Jack Daniel’s habits. My parents were generous with their car and made sure I had all the necessities and lovely vacations. Plus, they loved me. I was never grateful, though, and I treated them badly.
My father keeps warning me that Pom’s going to go off the rails someday and rebel in some catastrophic way. Presumably it’s in the genes. Maybe she will eventually rebel. But I don’t think it will be in any way that I’ll immediately recognize.
Or maybe Pom missed the gene. Maybe it’s her brother who has inherited the nightmare-teenager gene. I hadn’t thought of that. Damn.
Yeah, I've got one of those, too. She has very high morals and is judgemental (especially of me!) She doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs or curse...and is critical of all who do (my bad!) She gets straight A's in college. She's perfect! NOT! She only thinks she is. And...maybe because I know what I did at her age, I keep expecting the same from her, but like you, I don't think it will be anything I'll recognize as rebellious.
Now before anyone says anything negative...I am grateful for her...no problems. Been there, done that with my son. The thing is with my daughter, I'm waiting for the "other shoe to drop"!
Posted by: Debbie | May 14, 2008 at 09:03 AM
You mean, your father's hoping...hoping...you'll get a taste of what you put him through. Poor guy. I've got 30 years or so to wait, but I'm already looking forward to the satisfaction of revenge.
Posted by: SuburbanCorrespondent | May 14, 2008 at 10:05 AM
Debbie--I'm so sorry you're being judged. That's awful. Fortunately, mine just condescends to me. Here's to other shoes never dropping!
SC--You are too funny. I hope he's not hoping that!
Posted by: Laura Benedict | May 14, 2008 at 12:59 PM
I was the good girl, the prep, the oldest and my younger sister (4 years younger) did everything I didn't do, complete rebel. I waited until I was 19 to do everything I wouldn't do in my early teenage years.
Watch dear son, he could give you a run for your money.
Posted by: Malinda | May 14, 2008 at 03:10 PM
And here I pretty much stopped, Malinda, when I turned 18 because I knew I could get in legal trouble, LOL! I was such a pragmatic trouble-maker!
Oh, I'm watching the boy already. He's a peer-follower and loves everyone else's bad ideas.
Posted by: Laura Benedict | May 14, 2008 at 04:08 PM
I remember telling my younger brother, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" and hearing his response "That leaves it wide open!" 'Nuff said.
Posted by: Daisy | May 14, 2008 at 07:36 PM
Daisy, I just think of myself as having had lots of life experience. I'm glad you've lived, too!
Posted by: Laura Benedict | May 14, 2008 at 09:34 PM