Months age, our own Melanie Lynne Hauser wrote a post about how, once her elder son went off to college, she realized that she didn't belong to a group anymore. She no longer was in the PTA or the church moms groups, in fact she was floundering around trying to reconnect with old friends and meet new ones that are in the same space she is in. Hence the founding of this blog. And thank you Melanie for your honest outcry, because it raised up in so many of us just how lonely it can be parenting teenagers and young adults.
Right now, I feel like my muse has been called into question. Living with teenagers is, as we all know, stressful and filled with negativity. Although your kids do positive things, the fact is that they're dismissive, rude, angry, and sarcastic a lot more of the time than they're adorable. Sometimes adorable just doesn't happen for weeks. You might get a glimpse here and there between the eye-rolls, the shrugs and sighs, and the cursing invectives about your ability to parent.
I'm just not feeling the love right now. My son, when caught with a big empty rum bottle in his room, calls me names, tells me what a moron I am, gives me a song and dance that is ridiculous and well beyond belief, and then tries the tried and true method of blaming ME for not punishing his sister enough. Like that is going to change my mind about the fact that he had an alcohol receptor in his closet. A kid on a whole pharmacy of prescription drugs, ALL of which must never been mixed with alcohol. And he wonders why I'm upset.
My daughter, who has been grounded all of this vacation, is driving me nuts with her boredom and her inability to find anything to do. Believe me when I say there is plenty to do. She just doesn't want to do any of it, she wants to be waited on hand and foot and gets pretty damn angry every time I ask her to do something anyhow.
I've been spending a lot of my time hiding in my room.
My muse is spending time in the Caribbean getting herself built up for the last term of the school year, evidently, because she's lost around here and all I'm feeling right now is annoyance, irritation, and exhaustion. I had hoped that we would be able to visit a couple of local colleges and start on the 'what's college like' process, but honestly, I don't want to spend 5 minutes with these kids right now. YKWIM?
So when will my muse return? When will the kids stop lying, sneaking illegal substances, and being total jerks? And when will I perk up and start liking them again? I have no clue, but stay tuned, because we're taking a trip in a couple of weeks and I'll be a captive with them in a HOTEL. God help me!
Wow...you've had a day like mine! I was accused of everything from coercing my son into signing for a student loan to making him live in squalor for the past 4 years (while letting his sister live in an expensive, newly built dorm room)! Yes, I know how you feel...although I love them, there are times I don't like them.
Posted by: Debbie | April 26, 2008 at 06:37 PM
I want to go where your muse is.
Posted by: Lynn K. | April 26, 2008 at 06:58 PM
I feel your pain. Can we get a group discount to visit our muses? Or is mise?
Posted by: Loretta | April 26, 2008 at 07:42 PM
wow...this right here makes me feel so at home. I found this blog a few weeks ago and it quickly became a favorite. I had my one and only child when I was still a child myself and have stuggled many times over the past 11 years to find someone, anyone who understands...
right now, my issues aren't being young and having a baby in tow while all my friends are at prom...my issues are being young (only 27) and having a preteen in tow while all my friends are cooeing and in looooove with their wonderful toddlers.
My issues, are having a child who rolls her eyes and talks back and tells me I "don't get it" and argues every single little thing down to the bone with me...
a child who I love dearly but frankly right now has worn my last nerve down to the bone and just today uttered the words that I felt I would be stricken down for "I just don't even like her right now"
I clearly don't know which way is up or down, east or south or anything in between right now...but gawd does it feel good to finally have a place to go where I can feel so-not alone...
thank you for this site/blog...it is so appreciated
Posted by: Deeg | April 27, 2008 at 03:15 AM
case in point of how bad a loon i have become...i reread my comment just now and wished so bad for an edit button...i really am smarter then that comment would lead one to believe ahahahaha
Posted by: deeg | April 27, 2008 at 03:18 AM
Good grief am I glad I'm not alone! Well I am LOL but not in this! My son had a meltdown slamming things saying nasty crap to me Saturday morning. Why didn't I wake him up? I never have to wake him up.
The fact he came in at 4 a.m. and I just assumed he called in to work so he wouldn't have to get up at 5? Was I wrong? Hell yes in his eyes and a big idiot! All this while getting ready to go in late, with 2.5 hours of sleep for a 12 hour shift?
This is not quite normal for him, but of late, I am seeing a terrible temper brewing under there and I don't like it. And especially when directed at ME!
Posted by: Debbie | April 28, 2008 at 10:24 AM
I've reread this post five times, one for each one of my muse-repulsing teenagers. Bah - forget the muse reference, and let's just call them repulsive, shall we?
Not that I don't love them, of course.
Posted by: Kalynne Pudner | May 01, 2008 at 09:50 AM