Posted by Judy
Thirty years ago this spring, I was nervously and eagerly watching the mail for my college acceptance letters. By the time May rolled around I'd hit the trifecta: one rejection, one acceptance, one wait list. The wait list eventually became a rejection. So, that fall, I packed my suitcases, my trunk, my Peaches record crate, and my plans to major in English and Pre-Med, and headed off to Knoxville, Tennessee and started college.
It wasn't my first choice.
Four years later I'd graduated from The University of Wisconsin which hadn't even been in that first list of three.
I know that this spring, high school seniors across the country are waiting for those letters (do they still hope for the thick envelope?). In my house, we have a break from this since my two sons are already in college and my stepkids aren't at that stage right now. But my nephew is. So are children of friends. So the stress is there. And for 15 years I taught high school and watched my students' hopes rise and fall with the mail.
And here's my advice.
#1-Be sure your "safety school" is a place you want to go. Because sometimes, that's where you'll end up and it's a good thing if you like it.
#2-If you don't get into your first choice, that might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Because sometimes it's your first choice for all the wrong reasons.
#3-You can always transfer if it doesn't work out. When I landed in Madison in August of 1980, I knew I'd arrived in my perfect place.
You know, 17 and 18 year-olds are so vulnerable. And they've been told that the college choice MATTERS. That it'll set them on the course for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. And I always want to tell them to relax. Yes, it's a big (and expensive!) decision. But they need to remember (and so do parents in this era of parents living through their kids' achievements and bragging about which Yoohoo U their little cherub just was accepted to) to not take it so personally. They didn't reject YOU; they don't know you well enough to reject you. They rejected your application. And, sometimes it's a total toss-up. They can't take everyone who meets their expectations. So, sometimes, they practically are picking names out of a hat. I have found, over and over again, that every college offers amazing opportunities. Every college has great teachers and jerky ones. Every dorm is full of smart kids, partiers, jocks, lonely kids, and potential friends.
This is one step. It's the next step. But it's not the only step. It's sure not the most important step. And it's not even near the last step.
Embrace it, but try not to be too defined by it if it's not the step you thought you'd be taking.
Comments