Mid-CenturyModernMoms

Nerds Rule!

By Nina

I saw it with my own eyes at every single HS reunion I've attended. The nerdiest most unlikely to "succeed" kids inevitably ended up being the coolest, realest and most interesting ones at the party.

Somehow the mean alpha girls just got meaner and smaller.  The cheerleaders got fat.  The grinds had been ground down by life.  But a lot of the nose picking, pocket protector, AV Squad boys and nerdy girls were the ones who'd cashed out their dot.com businesses and were now pursuing their bliss, sailing sloops around the world, taking on second careers, shepherding foundations, that sort of stuff. Even Marsha Miller, who was so horsey she practically whinnied, had turned into a way-cool art gallery owner in the Bay Area. 

No surprise learning that a high school A-lister like Robby Benjamin went to med school, made a lot of money, retired early to Florida and was proudly wearing his trophy 2nd wife on his arm.  But whoa, let's hear it for Geek-O-Rama Marty Tessler, who went to med school the hard way, after being a Physician's Assistant for 7 years and then chose Emergency Room medicine in a hospital in Queens.  Way to go dude!  You may not be making the big bucks, but you've earned my respect and I bet you feel good looking in the mirror every morning.

So while I wish my own nearly 16-year-old geek in residence had a more robust social life and was feeling a little higher up on the high school food chain, I try to remember that being a tech nerd often means having the last laugh. 

My kid is a tech assistant this summer before he leaves for Israel.  He's helping to install new computers in the new building at his school . . . and he's getting paid for it!  He's enjoying the radical paradigm shift as he works with the school's resident technology staff who are (gasp) Republicans and Libertarians, unlike the mushy skwushy  liberals who teach at his crunchy granola private school.  This week his reputation as a nice reliable kid who knows his way around Macintosh computers landed him an off-site gig at the home of one of the school's two college advisers. There he successfully installed a Wi-Fi network and in the process got on the radar of the person who is going to help him navigate the rocky shoals of college applications.  And he got $100 smackeroos. 

Like I said.  Nerds rule.

With tears in my eyes- a graduation story

  Eighth grade graduation.  What a boring thing to anticipate, for a parent.  At least it's the end of those private school tuition bills.

What a surprise!!!!

The graduation was great!!! Each of the kids had 45 seconds to say something about their SSDS experience. Many of them did it in concert with 1-3 others.

What can you say in 45 seconds? Actually, quite a lot. And the ones that did it together (multiplying the time) were very creative. The kids totally blew me away with their ideas. Rosie did it with another girl and they even thanked their siblings! Most kids didn't thank parents/teachers, but many did. Some of the ones that stood out were: 3 boys- performed a new music composition; 4 boys- did short skits parodying rap music, Shakespeare and something else from English class and 4 girls- Remember the original Charlie's Angels beginning " Once upon a time, 3 little girls went to..." This was based on that and really outlined all their 9 years at school.  Several sets of girls sang, as well as commented on their choice of words. One set some words from the Biblical literature to new music.

I am going to miss the comraderie of all of the moms. But many of the kids will be attending the supplementary Hebrew High school, so we can arrange to see each other on Sunday mornings.

Remember the JC Penney dress purchases?  Here's the final results.

At graduation:

 

And for the semi-formal dance.  Rosie spent an hour with a friend curling her hair.

Isn't my baby gorgeous?

Where school seems to go on forever

Unlike most of the rest of the country, my kids are still in school. I know... it seems to last forever and yet it's never long enough! We've got one more week before they're out for the summer. This is the week of final exams. They go in at weird times, and leave at weird times. I have no clue when they should be where. I figure that it's their responsibility to get to their final exams on their own.  Once the exams are over, they're both going to be home all summer long. Yup, all summer long. Gulp!

I'm of mixed emotions. I have to admit, I love tossing the alarm clock and knowing that I won't have to see 6:30 am again until September.  Sleep is very important to teenagers and for a couple of months they'll get enough to keep them on a fairly even keel. I hope.

I also love having them around much of the time. Despite what you might have heard, I like my kids and I enjoy their personalities and their wit. Most of the time. I like doing things together with them, I like when their friends come over and I can eavesdrop on conversations and find out what the heck is going on in their lives. I like when they come up with bizarre ways to entertain themselves.

However, they eat like starving grizzly bears, they are the messiest human beings on earth, and they tend to argue. A lot. It's never nice and peaceful for very long around here. My son tends to entertain his friends here more than he ever goes anywhere else. There will be 2 or 3 day marathons of video games, shouting, eating the shelves bare, and taking over my house. I think it's better that they are here than if they were unsupervised someplace else. But OMG, the noise, the mess!

My daughter leaves school and the second she is off the property, every single thing she has learned all year empties out of her head. I've never seen anything like it. It's as if she does this brain dump in the parking lot. As summer progresses she gets dumber and dumber. By the end of summer I'm ready to scream in frustration. I must say "THINK" about 3 million times a day. She totally loses the ability to think, read, or write come summer.

Additionally, the school still have no clue of what they are going to do with her next year. It's her junior year. They want her to transfer to the other high school so they can wash their hands of her and not spend a penny on her special education needs. She has refused the transfer. I have refused the transfer. The school has no alternative. She is not registered anywhere for next year. Legally, the school has to follow her last signed IEP, which says she's enrolled in their school. So far they're refusing to do that. Which is against the law. To make matters worse? The social worker who has been working with her, and who we both like, just lost her job due to budget cuts. Today was her last day. So my kid doesn't have anyone to represent her best interests. She gave me the name of some other person whom I've never met and is male, who will be taking over for the social worker. I'm so unhappy about this.

Thus this will be, for me, the summer of lawyers and lawsuits. So looking forward to this. Not. But it has to be done. She has to be in school. We've been homeschooling and it's not the best option for my ultra-social kid. If we have to, we'll continue to do so, but I'm going to make the school let her do math and science there. I can't teach either math or science at home.

Summer is also the time when I become a professional chauffer for my kids. "Mom, take me here." "Mom, I need it NOW". This will be the last summer, because they'll finally turn 16 at the end of August and then the fun really begins.

Driving lessons.

Oh lord, kill me  now.

So maybe I shouldn't be so anxious for school to be over after all. I can't even imagine what kind of hell it will be once they learn to drive.

A total bust

Crossposted at What Was I THINKING?

Today's IEP meeting for the Girl was one of the most frustrating moments of my life. The school...well, they certainly made it clear that they have nothing to offer her. They want her to go to the other high school. She is refusing. We're at a total impasse. She won't even go to visit the program they're recommending. She feels like the high school is rejecting her and refusing her desire to come back to school. They feel that she needs supports they can't (or won't) offer.

I'm so upset. She's angry and stubborn and won't even consider alternatives.

They're angry and stubborn and won't even consider alternatives.

I can't make anyone move towards a compromise.

I honestly don't know what to do. She really has good points. She doesn't want to change schools. She wants to stay where she's emotionally happy. She knows plenty of kids at the other high school, but she also knows that the drug problem is much more severe there, and that the kids she knows in the other program will only lead her into more trouble. She's cognizent of the social issues but she's also so freaking stubborn that she just will not even make an effort. Not even to go visit the program. She's stated that if she's forced to go into this program she will drop out of school, and since she'll be 16, it's going to be hard to stop her.

She's totally blown math for this semester, but after meeting her math teacher, I now get why. He's an arrogant SOB who really had nothing pleasant to say about her. I mean nothing. After the meeting I sat down with her and she reveals to me why her math teacher was complaining about her. He said that she's the smartest person in the class and has the ability to do good work in a Curriculum 1 class. Well no shit, Sherlock. She WAS in a Curriculum 1 math class and the school, in it's infinite wisdom, changed her schedule and the only math class available that period was one about 5 levels below what she was in before she went to the hospital. Aarrrghhh.

Plus, she has complained ever since she got back to school about this teacher. Some of her issues: he sits at his desk and talks about his camping and hiking instead of teaching math. He doesn't wear shoes or socks in class and puts his feet up on the desk (she has an issue with feet and is totally grossed out by this). He allows kids to wear Ipods in class. He doesn't care if kids are late or leave early. He has totally checked out of teaching because he only teaches the burnout kids in the special programs. While I get his burnout status, having taught some of those kids myself, I'm sorry, but he has no right to not even TRY to teach, and then to sit at the meeting and make it sound like she's totally at fault that she isn't doing anything.

After the meeting, I got a phone call from her support person, and she confirmed what the Girl said about the math teacher. I mean, she went as far as telling me to talk to the head of the math department to express my concerns. So I know that what the Girl said is at least accurate. And I will be calling the math head.

Her biology teacher, OTOH, recommended that she go into Curriculum 1 chemistry next year, and said she was doing well. So did her tutor who is helping her in English. But it didn't matter. The school had NO alternative plan. It was go to this program, in which they have already made space for her, or tough noogies. Soooo unacceptable.

She's so upset. She doesn't understand why the school is 'kicking her out.' She feels that it's all her fault and she just won't acknowledge that they are also to blame. She doesn't get that adults can be so uncooperative. I'm not that way ever with her, and she expects other people to listen to her and work with her the way I do. Fat Chance! It's a very hard lesson to learn, and she's resisting learning it on all fronts.

She's just been so disappointed lately. Her therapist is irresponsible and misses about half her appointments. Her tutor came 3 times in 3 weeks due to other commitments. People let her down all the time and she feels like they are rejecting her when they're just acting like asshats.

I feel so sorry for her. I'm so angry and so upset and so horribly sad. It is ridiculous that we're in this place.

Next step, reporting school to the state for non-compliance.

Oh, and I have GOT to tell you this one. Because it just about made my head explode. The reason I have refused to sign the IEP all year is that her latest IEP didn't include her diagnosis of NVLD. It was like she was cured or something. So today I bring the private psychologist's report showing her obvious NVLD diagnosis as Axis II. The school psychologist says that the new WISC doesn't test for many of the NVLD subtests. So, voila. If you don't test for it, it no longer exists. Um, I think not. I did not let them get away with that one. The schmucks.

Muzzling the Mama Bear

When your children were little, the world was a simpler place. (Too bad you didn't know it at the time, huh?) Conflicts were simpler (more physical, more primitive, but simpler), conversation was simpler ("Say please." "NO."), decisions were simpler (red shirt or blue? is that a bead or a bean up his nose?).

When another child shoved your child, you could deal with that. You take them both by the hand, you explain that "hands are not for hitting", and you help them work it through. Simple.

When life buffeted my wee tots, I could offer solace: ice to the bo-bo, a kiss to make it better, a hug, a story, a distraction. Or throw the whining wretch in bed. Simple.

Last week, my youngest came home, very upset. Their French teacher had asked them to bring in the lyrics to a French song, which they would then analyze as part of a presentation due the following week. Bekah had gone in prepared with not just one but four songs. Keener points, anyone?

One of her songs was deemed unsuitable for the project, but the other three judged fine. Bekah chose one, and the teacher asked if the other two could be distributed to students who had not brought in songs. In other words, to students who had not completed the first task of the assignment.  No problem, says my girl. No skin off her nose.

Twenty minutes later the teacher returns, but this time sees something in Bekah's song that she hadn't noticed before.

"I'm sorry, but you won't be able to use that song after all."

No problem. She'd brought in four, after all, and there are still two good ones. "All right, then, I'll just use one of the other two."

"Oh, no. We can't do that. The other students have already been working on their songs for twenty minutes, and they'd have to start over again."

Let us pause a moment at this juncture so as to register the OUTRAGEOUS INJUSTICE of this statement.

I know, though I'm not sure my daughter does, that the issue is this teacher has trouble maintaining control over the class, and she knows that Bekah will give her much less flack than the two others will. Is this right? Is this fair?

IT IS NOT.

My inner Mama Bear rises in fury, but knowing that hearing her snarl tends to muzzle my children, I am calm as I probe, as casually as I can, for details. In short, Bekah protested but was over-ruled.

I AM OUTRAGED.

"I'm going to phone the school. I'll talk to the principal and that teacher! I can't believe this! That is completely unacceptable!"

You know what happened next, don't you?

"Mmmmooommm, NO!"

"Well, someone has to say something."

"No, they don't!" Her voice rises in panic. "She already hates me! That'll only make it worse!"

I don't believe the teacher hates her. I rather suspect she likes my responsible, reasonably studious child. I think the teacher's cowardice is driving her to take advantage of a compliant student. It's weaselly, but it's not personal. But will my protests make it worse? Will my active protests turn this woman against my child and make it personal? Quite possibly. I think she's that emotionally immature, yes.

"She shouldn't get away with it!" my Mama Bear roars. I wrestle her down. Barely.

"Mmmmooommm, NO!" It's one of the great frustration of parenting teens. They're old enough to want autonomy. They're old enough to need it, developmentally. Some of them are even mature enough to deserve it. Autonomy to make their own mistakes (and bear the consequences themselves), autonomy to make a lot of their own decisions (and bear the consequences themselves).

And old enough to fight their own battles. Even when they deal with the battle by ducking it.

ARGH. Mama Bear HATES that. Hates it, hates it, hates it.

So I back down. I try to have a conversation with the girl about what she might do, what her options are, but she's having nothing to do with it. She's viewing my interest as pressure to respond in a certain way -- and maybe she's got some justification there, but it's not the whole truth. But it is her conflict to resolve, her injustice to deal with.

So I back off. And I don't email the teacher. And I don't call the principal. I do rant a bit to my husband. Bekah goes back to school the next day with a song the teacher hasn't had time to approve, presents her assignment, and gets a very good mark. So there's that.

And, when the final exams are written, the assignments in, the marks secure and staff still at the school, will I be making a phone call and writing a letter?

You bet your ass I will.

Grrrrr.

Crocs and Birks and Sneaks...Oh My!

By Nina Rubin
Today's topic is boys and footwear.  You know, those 7 pound missiles teenage boys fling off their feet and leave for you to trip over in the hallway, doorway, under the table, etc., and then cry out, "Mom, have you seen my shoes?" 

Shoe shopping, alas, isn't the retail thrill for guys that is it for girls.  We're not talking about stalking Manolos or cruising the Nordstroms sale rack here.  Both Jaws and Grumble, who are each over 6 feet tall,  have humongous slabs for feet. They wear 13.5 and 13 respectively and their slabs are still growing. I stay up nights worrying about this because style choices begin to fall off at size 13W, but my lads seem completely untroubled by this. Just keep them in Birks and Crocs and flip flops and Merrills and $85 sneakers and they are blissfully happy, the fools.

Have you noticed, by the way, that shoelaces are a thing of the past?  Even sneakers are elasticized. I know for a fact that Grumble doesn't know how to tie a shoelace and that Jaws only mastered it a few years ago.  He does it the two-loops way.  [If either boy reads this I'm dead meat.]

However, teenage feet are on my mind because we have a ritual on the last day of school, which is today.  When school gets out, we go get shoes. Shoeing my boys makes me indescribably happy. In the old days it was about taking them to the childrens' shoe store and getting lollipops and watching them take their practice walk in shiny new shoes.  These days I take them to Abbadabbas, Atlanta's funky shoe emporium which overflows with Keene, Merrill, Teva,  Dansco, and other high end comfort shoe brands sold by salespeople sporting tatoos and noserings.

Here's what happens. My sons walk into Abbadabbas,  ask for the two or three brands they like, try them on, and in like 5 minutes they are happy ready to roll.  Me? I am combing the sale rack, trying on orange climbing shoes and thinking that a pair of those cute Crocs "Mary Janes" in pink would make my life complete. Then, omigod, I see that Earth Shoes are back, and I wonder, "Gee, maybe I'll have less back pain if I start wearing negative heal shoes." This prompts a reverie about Fred Braun shoes.  Do you think they'll ever bring back Fred Braun shoes?  I still dream about them.

My name is Nina and, yes, I am a shoe-aholic, and the mother of sons who don't understand. I have an embarrassing, Imelda-esque quantity of shoes.  My personal theory about women and shoes is that we love 'em because while our dress and jeans size changes alarmingly, our shoe size (once we're done with birthing babies) stays about the same. I didn't need Carrie Bradshaw to teach me that there's nothing like a new pair of shoes to bring a whole new perspective to life.  And then there's the matter of toe cleavage ... which I must admit, I find incredibly sexy, but which is apparently unknown to my boys.  When I explained it they said, "Eeeuuuuwww."

Which is what I say when I see (or smell) their feet.

Where you really get burned with boys is on dress shoes.  Unless you're a stickler about appropriate footwear for church, synagogue, holidays and special occasions, or your kids go to a school that makes them wear closed-toe shoes, dress shoes are where you get soaked.  I recently broke down and bought Grumble a pair of black leather shoes for his brother's graduation and his own Confirmation and it set me back over $100.00.  If I'm lucky he'll wear them a total of five times and they probably won't even fit him in six months. 

Can I say one more thing about shoes?  And this is not a gender thing.  I don't approve of wearing flip flops to your college or high school graduation.  But at Jaws college graduation I saw literally hundreds of guys and girls wearing cap, gown and flip flops.  Where are their manners?  Where are their mothers?  Where is the nearest DSW? 

Friendship From The Mom of A Teenage Boy's Point of View

The other day we visited the grocery store with our 16yo son.  Our teen was in a very good mood.  We glanced at one another wondering why our son would be in a good mood.  Usually he is sullen, grunty and eyes us like we are smelly fish.

Seriously, weren't you ever 16?  I used to give my mom the fish eye everytime she asked me to clean my room, she used to ask me about 567 times a day.  Lots of fish eyes!

16 yo is prancing along the aisles.  That is not as effeminate as it sounded.  He's ALL boy, trust me.  He's making fun of me~which he does when he's in a good mood.  Why?  Because he thinks he's darn funny!  I have no clue where he got that idea.  Certainly not from me.

He begins to tell us his plans for the weekend as he will be able to attend R rated movies legally in a few days.  He LOVES telling me that.  Puleazzzzzzze, kid's been watching r-rated movies ever since I allowed him to have friends with parents I did not do background checks on.

He mentioned a very pricey Chinese resatuarant all the way into downtowm Seattle for Friday night.  Obviously, he forgot how ancient his parents are.  We don't like to go into the city in a Friday night, besides McHub is usually snoring by 8p.m.

Next he mentions a dance at the ever wonderful high school, which is full of snobby rich kids, many kids who were born in other countries and the kids who ditch school after 1st period.

Joy, I thought. 

I asked, "Tolo?" (Tolo is a traditional Local hs dance where the girls ask the guys and the couples dress alike.  We called this Sadie Hawkins back in the Stone Age.)

He snorts at me. "Tolo's in December.  Ch'uhhhhhhh." Eye rolling commences.  From both of us.

I looked at him lovingly.(snort)  "Silly me.  OLOT?" (Which is Tolo spelled backwards.  This is a dance where kids go in groups dressed alike with *fun* names like "Rock With Our C***s Out.")

"Hmmmmmmmmmm yeah Olat."

"You going with girls?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  The Gang."  He looks at me as if I had just sprouted grapefruit from my nose.

I glance at McHub.  He's looking at the ceiling pretending he doesn't know us.  Again.

"Ahem.  The Gang?  Who's the Gang? K? $? %%?"

"MooOOOOOoom!  You know, the gang!  Fred, Barney, Goofus, Beetle Bailey, Opus and K."

"Oh yeah, them.  How could I forget?"  These are various and random boys teen has known since preschool.  Let's see........that's 14 years ago.  Of course I remember each and every kid he's ever been in school with.

End of convo.

Yesterday he comes in from school when I was in the bathroom so I did not hear him.  All of a sudeen I hear---"MOM!"

I jumped 4 feet.  Nothing like a good scare to get your heart revved. I highly recommend it over exercise. ;)

" Didn't buy my dance ticket.  The gang kicked out me, Fred and Opus at lunch.  I tried to ask why but they just told me to F off." Kid is peeved.  Don't blame him.

"K? too?"

"Yes, he's such an ass! I didn't get a ride home with him.  He is a (*&%^%^*!"

"Sorry Buddy.  That really sucks.  What's his prob?"

Kid already immersed in comp game so no answer.  McHub gets home 30 minutes later and I fill him in.  He was upset, this is the second time K has done this lately.  They have known each other for 12 years but have been really close since 7-8th grades.  Except for 6 months last year.

2 hours Later~~~~~~"Hey Mom, is it ok if I go hang with K?"

I look at him with wide eyes.  "Really?  Um, I suppose."

Hmmm, I didn't notice when the earth flipped on it's axis.  Dang!  You think I would have felt that!

Tiff over.

I have no idea how or if it was resolved.  Kid left.

I am so delighted I will never have to attend high school ever again.

Curfews?

My twins are not yet 16, but they both have very active social lives. More active than I can ever remember having at their age, but that was when dinosaurs roamed the earth and really, who wants to hang out with dinosaurs?

Tonight both kids were out with their respective sets of friends. They were both 'hanging' at someone else's house, both told to be home at midnight, as it isn't a school night, and both got home at a reasonable time. One was 15 minutes early, one was 15 minutes late. I'm not thrilled with the late kid, but he's relying on someone else's driving so it is a bit harder for him to get home than my daughter, who got a ride home from a mom. Moms are more reliable than kids, for the most part.

We haven't had a lot of trouble with curfews in the past. They're pretty solid, 12 on weekends, 11 on weeknights IF their schoolwork and chores are done. Since it's very rare that anything is done, they don't go out much on school nights. Another brilliant ploy from Mom!

But we're reaching a new situation. Summer vacation. Ugh.

My kids absolutely positively refuse to do anything over the summer. My daughter will be in summer school due to some incredible screw ups at her school, but that's during the morning. She'll be home most of the day. My son will be doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. He will not do any type of program. Nor will he consider camp, something he's failed at spectacularly in the past. This will be his 3rd summer home with nothing to do.

Now summer schedules are very lax around here. I work from  home, mostly at night. The kids sleep in till fairly late, and their friends sleep even later. Most social activity doesn't even start until 3 or 4 in the afternoons, sometimes even later.

So planning curfews becomes more difficult. Our town has a curfew that I plan to follow, not that it's enforced or anything, but it makes my kids much more limited than the other kids. Since my kids don't drive yet (or ever if I have my wish!) they have to rely on either me, friends, or other parents. So I'm now sure what a reasonable curfew is for almost 16 yr-old kids who are just 'hanging out'. If they have someplace to go, then they have a half-hour after the movie or concert or whatever is done to be home. That's easy. It's the 'hanging out' that I'm not sure of.

Anyone have any great suggestions? What curfew have you set for your kids?

Looking Backwards, Looking Forwards - Musings

As a first time mother, you don't know any  better.  The second time 'round, you're just too tired to care.

I hope that you had a happy Mother's Day!!!

Our dreams (plans) for our children change over the years.  A parent can keep those dreams until you get hit in the face that they must be modified.

Looking back, I can see that some of my hopes for Abe (17.5 yo, PDD, ADHD, NVLD, etc) were too expansive.  When he was born, I hoped for a wonderful kid who was going to have a wonderful life.  He's a wonderful kid (when he wants to be) who has had a hard life in terms of figuring out how to deal with his disabilities.  I still hope that when he's older, he'll think that he had a good childhood.

When Abe first started at an out-of-district, special education  placement school in the middle of 4th grade, I had dreams that he would be back in the mainstream during the high school years.  When Abe went to a high school SPED placement, I had dreams that he was going to graduate "on time" and go onto a regular college.

Now my dreams look somewhat different.  I want him to repeat 11th grade so that he can have more time in the therapeutic environment of the residential school that he's starting at the end of June.  I still dream of him going off to college and living an independent life, but I know that he is years away from that.  Abe's going to get there, but it's going to take him longer than other kids.  But I have faith that he's gonna get there (ya gotta have faith, baby).

My dreams for Rosie (14 yo, NT, ADHD) were never different than mine for her brother.  Be a good person, be of good intelligence, learn at nice schools and have a wonderful life.  I never dreamed that I would expose my children to the harshness of both parents having cancer or to domestic discord; but that's some of my legacy to them.

A mother always has hopes and dreams for her children.  Those wishes have changed over time as to specifics, but the basics of wanting the best for your kids always stays.

Mixed Messages

So much is going on at our house that I feel the need to unburden myself or I'm gonna 'splode from all the information overload. There's good news, there's bad news, there's insanity, and there is relative calm. Oh, and there are two nutty teenagers that live to change the equilibrium at any given moment. Because, you know, they're teens!

So what's new?

The Boy made high honor roll in school. HIGH HONOR ROLL. You have no idea of the nachas this gives me. I'm so very proud of him for finally, after 11 years in school, buckling down and deciding to maybe, perhaps, um...do his work. Because that's a good idea if you're trying to get into college, isn't it?

But is he happy? Why no, because I'm a bitch to him and I never do anything nice for him and he hates me and hopes I have a heart attack and die. He's just a bundle of joy these days. I'm so sick of being screamed at I just want to duct tape his mouth shut. I won't, but don't think I don't fantasize about it. And just what is it that he's so angry about? Oh, I had the unmitigated gall to ask him to dig up some weeds in the garden. Last week. And then again every freaking day. But he won't do it, and he says that he gets no pleasure from gardening, so why should he do it? Um, maybe because you eat the food I grow from my garden? Could that be a good reason? Evidentially not.

And then there was that party. The one my darling son held while I was out of town. The one he was told not to even THINK about. But he did it anyways, and there was alcohol and probably pot and a whole bunch of kids spread all over our front hill. How did I find out about the party? Well, first I found an empty liter bottle of gin in his closet. That was a fun discussion. And because I am the suspicious type (do you wonder why?), I checked his Facebook page. Facebook is awesome for catching kids doing bad things. They're so dumb they leave up photos of the parties. All you have to do is follow the photos. I did, and lo and behold, that was our porch with my son holding a beer can looking particularly wasted on a friends photo set. Ahem. I could probably get a job with Scotland Yard. I'm that good.

Consequently, things are up and down with him. School = good. Home = bad.

The other one? The Girl? She's gonna drive me absolutely bonkers writing a paper on a book she read for school. She hated the book. So what else is new? She hates reading of all kinds. Sort of a disappointment for a serious book lover and writer like myself, but what can I do? Her father is an engineer. Say no more.

The deal is, if she persists in whining and nagging and complaining, at some point I'll come to her rescue just to shut her up. Guilty as sin, I am. But gosh, how much whining can one person take? My tolerance is low, apparently.

Her schooling is coming along despite the fact that her tutor is dyslexic (I know!) and not overly bright. Sweet as sugar and helpful as can be, but OMG, I eventually insert myself in the tutoring sessions in English because otherwise my kid would be learning the wrong stuff. Math and science, I'm not that worried about. The kid is doing fine in school.

However, the school. Well, as nice as they are about my son, they're nasty and unpleasant and totally unhelpful to my daughter. They do not like her. They do not like green eggs and ham either. Well, the feeling is mutual. Not about the green eggs, although I doubt I'd like those either. About the school administration. They are not nice to me, to her, and they're driving me beserko.

And then there's me. I'm doing ok, hanging in there. We're going as a family to Chicago in a couple of days for an event sponsored by Ford Motor Company. You would think that traveling with teenagers would be a piece of cake compared to toddlers and infants. Well... you would probably be wrong. The preparation before the trip is exhausting. We're being feted at a fancy restaurant for a Mother's Day dinner, which meant that we had some shopping to do.

The Boy has outgrown every single piece of clothing he owns, so we had to get him pants and shirts and a pair of shorts just in case the weather ever cleared up in Chicago. Apparently the weather will never clear up in Chicago. Sigh.

The Girl only owns summer dresses that fit well. And no decent pants. More shopping. Like the Girl, my only dress that is currently in style and that fits after a major weight loss is a strapless summer frock. Off to another store to get me something springy but with sleeves and a bit of skin coverage. I hate to shop, I hate to spend money on clothes, and I hate to take my kids shopping. So this week was really swell. 

Oh, and the allergies. The allergies! We all are suffering. The sniffles, the nosebleeds, the itchy eyes, the rashes.

All in all, a jolly good time at our house! So what's going on with you?