What to say?

When you're short and rounded and marry a man who's tall and skinny, you kinda hope your children will take after their father, not you. At least, that's how it's been for me.

For most of my life I've hovered just over the ideal weight range and only with hard work do I get below this. Sadly my Em is almost identical in size. She's not fat, but she isn't slim either. She's 'rounded'.

I was talking to a friend last night who had just been shopping with her 13 year old daughter, who is similarly neither fat nor slim, for this season's swimming costume. While our daughters can wear outfits that flatter their fit and healthy bodies, swimming costumes, well, they don't cover much do they? We got to talking about how difficult it is to tactfully tell our daughters that something that looks great on skinny girls, looks a little less fantastic on them.

How do you tell your daughter (who doesn't want to hear it) that the little denim short shorts that look great on skinny legs, only serve to highlight thighs that rub together? How do you tell your daughter that these oh, so popular shorts, also cause muffin top? Then there's the problem of buying appropriate tops. There's unflattering cuts, gaping necklines, lack of length...and on the problems go. All with attendant problem description difficulties for mothers who want their daughters to wear clothes that fit in with current trends and look better than disastrous.

AND we don't want to sap our girls of what little self esteem they may be hanging on to during these hormonal teenage years of angst. Nor do we want them to dive into the dark world of anorexia and bulimia in an attempt to gain fashionably acceptable bodies.

I haven't always succeeded in walking this tightrope tactfully. I haven't always succeeded in having Em wear clothes that don't look disastrous on her - thankfully, at 16, she has developed an awareness of what works for her figure and what doesn't. I have no solutions to offer for this parenting dilemma, I just wanted to acknowledge the problem exists for many of us.

Comments

[Daisy]

It's tough. The clothing industry doesn't help, either. Does she have friends she trusts for shopping trips? I'm short and round, and my daughter (age 22) is very good at helping me find flattering clothes.

[melissa]

As I get older I get more round (35+ now) don't know if I can get any rounder. I hate all the clothes they make for ladies and for teens. There is not much that is flattering wish I could live in sweats. I am really enjoying your blog and very glad I found it.