I always read the Employee Wellness Newsletter. Sometimes I skim it and roll my eyes, but once in a while there's an article that makes sense. There was dietary advice this time. Here are a few carefully selected quotes, with my responses in italics.
"Research shows that what you eat can significantly affect your mood."
Moods? I have a teenager and a twenty-something.Did you say MOODS?!
"For breakfast, try oatmeal or eggs. Both contain an amino acid that helps boost the levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that makes you feel good."
They're in high school and college students. What makes you think they're actually awake enough to eat breakfast?
"As for the blueberries, save those for lunch. The antioxidants in them will ward off... stress."
Stress? And just how do you think these kids will keep blueberries in their lunches? A brown paper bag? The small pocket of their backpack? Blueberry stains don't come out easily, y'know. Do blueberries even contain antioxidants after they've been trucked mega miles to get to the store in the frozen Midwest? Did you say STRESS?!
"Finish with a small piece of chocolate."
Now we're talkin'. I can deal with that advice. The only problem with this piece, though, is that I'd rather have the chocolate, the dark chocolate in particular, to myself.
But wait...they didn't mention coffee. Uh-oh. Where does my daily cuppa fit into this picture? Please tell me I don't have to deal with my know-it-all kids without my cup o' joe. Please.