Absence makes the heart grow stronger
I have a dirty little secret.
Last week my Wonderhubby and I went on vacation to paradise. Hawaii. You can see some of what we did here and here.
We left J-bear (18) on her own. She drives, goes to school, has a 40-hour-a-week job, plus she's a black belt in karate and can pretty much take care of herself.
But that's not my secret.
The Roo-girl? I was highly uncomfortable leaving the two of them home alone together, so Miss Roo went to her friend Z's house for the week we were gone.
But that's not my secret, either.
At 14, Roo is pretty independent, has traveled across the country with her cheer squad and can scrounge up her own healthy meals. She also is as "14" as you can get, complete with the sass and the ever-present eyeroll.
She constantly informs me that she is grown up now and wants to be trusted and not babied any longer.
So imagine my surprise when I got a phone call from her on day one of my vacation and she completely dissolved into tears.
"I miss home. I miss my bed. I miss you," she sobbed.
"Aren't you having fun with Z?" I asked, concerned that things weren't going well at her friend's house.
"Yes, I'm having fun, but it's not hooooooooooommme."
So my dirty little secret?
I must confess that a little piece of my mommy heart was glad.
I obviously don't like to hear her cry. I'm not that cold.
But I was glad there was still some of my baby girl inside that independent teen.
I was glad to be missed.
And what I was even more glad about was that the aftermath of her homesickness and her mommy-I-miss-you was one giant step forward in communication between mother and teen.
She called me every day. She talked about EVERYTHING. About school. About friends. About cheer. About life. I could barely get her to hang up the phone.
And that is why I smiled a secret mommy smile when she cried.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
Same thing happens when they leave for college. It's great! They actually become human! (And realize you are, too!)
Posted by: Debbie | November 10, 2008 at 08:57 AM
I hope the trend continues with you back at home!
Posted by: Burgh Baby | November 10, 2008 at 11:00 AM
I'm almost 30 and I still have to talk to my mom every day.
Posted by: nikki | November 10, 2008 at 12:12 PM
So the secret is that when she's 14 I get to go to Hawaii?
I can live with that.
Posted by: Janet | November 10, 2008 at 12:48 PM
AWWW that is so sweet! I am so happy for you!
Posted by: kaytabug | November 10, 2008 at 12:49 PM
Really makes all that money spent on that vacation worth it, doesn't it? Even if it was twice as much.
Posted by: lceel | November 10, 2008 at 02:31 PM
Awwww!
Posted by: Suzanne | November 10, 2008 at 08:03 PM
I'd be smiling a (sort of smug) little smile about that, too. Yay, mom!
Posted by: Ilona | November 11, 2008 at 11:51 AM
I've become closer to my mother as I've gotten older -- and as my own daughter has reached the ripe old age of 21.
Posted by: Daisy | November 11, 2008 at 08:22 PM
That's so sweet. I hope it continues too, what an amazing relationship.
Posted by: Rachael | November 13, 2008 at 03:25 PM
Awww... You'll have to go away more often!
A friend of mine recently went on a week's trip, and her 14 yr old daughter missed her terribly, which was indeed a pleasant surprise for the mom. :)
When I went to Hawaii 3 years ago, for my brother's wedding, I thought it would be hardest on my youngest boy, who was only 3 at the time! But he was happy with Grandma. It was the oldest boy who missed me most. Yes, it made me happy inside.
Posted by: Kila | November 14, 2008 at 01:11 PM
I have a need to talk to my daughter every day, too. She is 34,soon to be 35, and calls me with all her news all the time. Hubby does not understand why we need to do this, but hey, who cares. I LOVE it.
Posted by: Karen | November 15, 2008 at 01:24 AM
Gute Arbeit hier! Gute Inhalte.
Posted by: fussball | March 02, 2009 at 09:03 AM